Poems
Melissa V., who goes by Millie, is a survivor of domestic violence who is taking her pain and life lessons and putting them to pen and paper. She is an individual who uses her gift as a poetess to help heal herself and help heal others. Read the contrast of the life of a victim affected by domestic violence and the love they receive after as a survivor in Melissa's two part work called A Fist Full of Love.
A Fist Full of Love
A fist full of "love" is what you gave to me
You had my heart and mind confused, wondering how could this be?
No actions spoke louder, no words were more clearer
What I felt for you was not love, but indescribable fear
I couldn’t understand how you could be so cold,
I was left shattered and bruised with distress in my soul
I thought marriage meant -"you became me, and that made us “we”
But a fist full of "love" is what you gave to me.
What a demise of a spirit, a human catastrophe
A waste of my time, a relationship tragedy
Unthinkable acts committed, couldn’t wait to be free
A fist full of "love" is what you gave to me.
A Fist Full of YOUR Love
A fist full of love is what you gave to me
Ashamed and embarrassed, I asked how this could be.
Your actions spoke volumes, your words were so clear
You lifted me up and held me and took away my fears
What I felt for you was love and an overwhelming peace
I knew that you were my comforter and that the pain would soon cease
I couldn’t understand how you could love me so much
You left me whole and complete from your most tender touch.
I thought my life was insignificant, and a way out I could not see
But a fist full of love is what you gave to me.
What a quickening of a spirit, a human enlightenment
A time full of healing, a relationship wonderment
Amazing acts committed, I thank YOU that I’m free
A fist full of love is what you gave to me.
This is dedicated to my Jehovah, My God, The Most High, My Strength, My Comforter, My Wonderful Counselor………..Thank you for giving me a “fist full of YOUR love”
~Melissa Vargas All Rights Reserved.
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When You're Alone
Remember the way you used to look into the mirror? Afraid of what you saw?
The strange reflection looking back at you- a cut here, a bruise there, oh and the puffy eyes from the tears you tried to hide....
Well, it's not that way when you're Alone.
I'm sure you can recall how you'd avoid the full mirror view, with or without clothes on, not wanting to catch a glimpse of who you became, the utter despair of a battered woman. Don't look at yourself, for you wouldn't recognize who was there...
It's not that way when you're Alone.
When in public, you found yourself looking at all the confident pretty women, wondering how happy they must be, what nice outfits but then said that wouldn't look good on me . Envious of their independance, the length of their nails, the make-up they wore-and a low cut blouse? You could never be that sure or take that brazen chance..to even try well you'd be called a whore.
It's not that way when you're Alone.
Wearing your hair a certain way, think you'll wear that sweatshirt today, perhaps a dab of lipstick will do, mascara or eyeshadow will run..don't bother, can't impress-anyone. Even if you did, he'll say you look like a slut, why bother anymore? Maybe you'll get pretty for him tonight Then you realize there will just be another fight.
It's not that way when you're Alone.
Stepping on eggshells every second of the day, hoping you've cooked his steak just the right way, feed the kids, clean the house, oh well no time for a shower today....Here he comes, it's on the way--what did I forget to do today? Another slap, another punch...I must not be good enough.
It's not that way when you're Alone.
Begging for his forgiveness, please don't fight for hours, I'll be a good girl today. Kiss his ass, make his drink, clean his clothes along with his stink, coddle him, listen to him. Watch his every move, cautious steps....don't slip up, watch your language or you know what you'll get to shutup.
It's not that way when you're Alone.
Don't talk on the phone or see your friends, forget about your family, can't have any company or even go to the store for if you did you'd be called a whore. Don't ask for any money you get what you deserve . If he sleeps with you tonight, perhaps it won't be so bad....Get it over with, don't touch me there, truth is you really don't even care, for when he touches you, your skin begins to crawl, feel so dirty, hate the feeling, get him off me, he's not a man but a rabid dog....There is no warmth, love does not exist, you are only his weakened captive, what the hell ---you are not able to resist.
It's not that way when you're Alone.
The beatings one by one, the screams that go unheard, the taste of blood in your mouth, the pain of his hands that shut you out.The pressure of not being able to breath in your own home, it is the man whom you seeth now get out get out....because
It's not that way when you're Alone.
Dedicated to those who possess more strength than they could ever possibly know of until they gather up the tattered dreams and walk away from abuse...with all of self, dignity, and respect. I know you all, for I was once you and now I have found me.
by Michele Renee Copyright 1998. All Rights Reserved.
Strength
It's hidden there, deep within your eyes...
Slowly showing upon your face.
You have been here before, yet at another time, another place...
You swore to yourself - you'd never live that way again.
As you lay upon molten ashes mixed with the tears fallen from undeserved shame,
You've traveled days combined with weary strength and courage...
Know this - there is only one person whose to blame.
It's not the words they say, or the controlling games they play,
It's not even the bruises that seem to go away...
The only captor is the fear that poisons you to stay.
Trying to convince yourself your heart is true and pure,
Emotionally your torn apart, not knowing what to do...
and deep inside you are aware there is only one cure.
Persuade your soul to live again...
You've been down this road before-
Pick yourself up out of the wreckage...
and walk out that front door.
No one is worth the price that you have had to pay,
and no one should ever have to live in such a way.
Living in a vicious circle of a storm growing near...
Violence begets violence, although you persevere.
Precious life is not to sit at each command.
Nor is it becoming a prisoner upon every single demand.
You have a soul - that's yours to keep, there is more to who you are.
Staying trapped inside the bars, will not get you very far.
Find the strength behind your tears, as you think of all the wasted years.
Look into your children's eyes, recapturing your sustained fears...
Remembering that its they're lives too that soon fall prey to being consumed,
and it's up to you to prevent them from ultimately becoming ruined.
Grasp onto the reality--that this is not how things are supposed to be...
Embrace your strength and strive to live a life that is free,
one that excludes any form of brutality.
by Michele Renee Copyright 1996. All Rights Reserved.