Operation OPT-OUT Help & Your Social Security #.
By L.A.
Helpful information to help you OPT-OUT to protect your privacy of sites that post public information about you even for a fee. Many are out there & includes the Credit Bureaus as well that give them this information or this information to others. You can stop this but you have to write to them.
Additional helpful information in regards to your Social Security # as well. Who has the right to it & who doesn't. Many do not know you do not have to give it out when it is asked for.
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Some opt-outs are permanent, but sometimes your opt-out is valid for a limited amount of time (for example, when you add your name to the Direct Marketing Associations' op-out lists for telemarketing and direct mail it lasts for five years).
Consumers may request an Opt-Out Form by either leaving a message on our Consumer Advocate Hotline at 501-342-2722 (toll free 1-877-774-2094) or sending an e-mail to us at optout@acxiom.com.
When you receive the form back, then you may fill in the required information and mail it back to Acxiom.
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Consumer Services Experian 949 West Bond Street Lincoln, NE 68521 (date) I request my information removed from the Lexis-Nexis P-Find Product, as well as other organziations that receive my information. Here is the information you requested: Name: . Name Variations: _______ Address:
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Fill out the form on this page: http://www.lexisnexis.com/terms/privacy/data/remove.asp to remove information about yourself from the Lexis-Nexis People Locator (P-Trak) system. (The link will open in a new browser window. After submitting the form, close that window to return to Operation Opt-Out.)
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US SEARCH.COM INC 600 Corporate Pointe, Suite 220 Culver City, CA 90230 (Date) To Whom It May Concern: I would like to have my information removed from your Public Record Profile Product. Here is the information you requested: Name: . Name Variations: ______
Address: ___, Date of Birth: ___ SS #: ___ Signature __________
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Telephone Preference Service Direct Marketing Association P.O. Box 1559 Carmel, NY 10512 (date) Please register my name with the Telephone Preference Service. Name: . Address: , Phone: -- Thank you for your help, ________ Signature of . ______
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How to Sign Up Online for the National "Do Not Call" List.
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has just launched a new system making it possible for individuals to stop unsolicited commercial telephone calls. The FTC is creating a nation-wide "Do-Not-Call" registry. Sign up on the list, and the telemarketers cannot call you at home. Registration is now available online at http://www.donotcall.gov. You can also call 1-888-382-1222 from the telephone you wish to register.
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Mail Preference Service Direct Marketing Association P. O. Box 643 Carmel, NY 10512 (DATE) Please register my name with the Mail Preference Service. Name: . Address: , Thank you for your help, ___________ Signature of .
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Trans Union LLC - Removal Option P.O. Box 505 Woodlyn, PA 19094 (date)
To whom it may concern: I request to have my name removed from your marketing lists. Here is the information you have asked me to include in my request: FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME: . CURRENT MAILING ADDRESS: , PREVIOUS MAILING ADDRESS (if you have moved in the last six months) _________ __________ _________ SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: __________ DATE OF BIRTH: ___________________ Thank you for your prompt handling of my request, ____________________________ Signature of .
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Experian Consumer Opt Out 701 Experian Parkway Allen, TX 75013 (date)
To whom it may concern: I request to have my name removed from your marketing lists. Here is the information you have asked me to include in my request: FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME: . CURRENT MAILING ADDRESS: , Thank you for your prompt handling of my request, ____________________________ Signature of .
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Equifax Options PO Box 740123 Atlanta, GA 30374-0123 (date)
To whom it may concern: I request to have my name removed from your marketing lists. Here is the information you have asked me to include in my request: FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME: . CURRENT MAILING ADDRESS: , SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: ________ DATE OF BIRTH: _____ Thank you for your prompt handling of my request, ___________ Signature of .
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Good work! You have just regained a little bit more control over your personal information! Thanks for taking the time to help support privacy online and in the real world. Or can optain & print the actual documents via the site & fill out to mail: OPT-OUT SITE
What else can You do?You can further take control of your personal information by:
* writing or calling the magazines that you subscribe to and ask them not to release your mailing information when they make their subscription lists available.
* getting an unlisted, unpublished, home telephone number. Once your telephone number and address are published in the telephone book, it is considered public information and anyone can use it. You may need to pay your telephone company for this privilege, plus friends and family will not be able to look up your phone number if they need it.
* writing to all companies that you do business with regularly, such as your bank, telephone company, other utilities, video rental store, grocery store, etc..., and ask that they do not distribute your personal information. If it is at all possible, threaten to take your business elsewhere. If you do take your business elsewhere, let the company know why you've left them.
* adding a link to your web site that will refer your site's visitors to Operation Opt-Out.
Letters to your Congress to help in their efforts to protect your privacy are needed.
Read this:
Recently, members of Congress from both parties, led by Senator Shelby (R-AL) and Representative Markey (D-MA), spearheaded a campaign to introduce a law that would require banks and financial institutions to ask your permission before they could use your information for any other purpose than what it was originally collected for ("opt-in"). Unfortunately, this effort failed, but other attempts will probably soon follow. If this concerns you, call your member of Congress and let them know that you care about privacy. Today the general practice in the business community is to use your information unless you object. This is why your info is out there giving even your bank & others the right to use your information as they please. So besides writing to Congress to help their efforts to protect your privacy, make sure that anything & everything you do "YOU" first outright mention you want your info secured/private & "NO" they can not use it for their choosing. Many companies tell you (phone, utilities, etc.) say all information is confidential.
NOTE: NO IT IS NOT, UNLESS YOU REQUEST ABSOLUTE PRIVACY ASK FOR YOUR OPT-OUT RIGHTS!
How many of you know you do not have to give out your
social security for everything
- You have every reason to guard your Social Security number and
give it out only when absolutely necessary. You do not have to
give it out to your doctors office, insurance company, utilities,
school, or even when applying for certain things. Your social
security was set for Federal use only. Not for everyone else to
use or ask for but they do. You have a right to decline giving
out your social security number especially because you are a
victim of Violence. Some places such as gov. offices will require
proof of why you refuse to give your social out.
Yes, not giving your social can slow down process of many things but there are other ways for companies, programs that seem to think they have a right to this information of identifying you & don't let them trick you into giving it out. What information they have for you then goes to your credit reports, their records & social where this information is not necessary for them to have. Thus making it easier for those companies, US People Search & others to obtain your information all because you gave out your social to anyone or everyone that requested it when it was not important, nor necessary.
Know that any time you see a place for social # don't
just fill it out. Ask why they need it? For what
purpose, explain your situation, show them documentation if you
have it restraining orders, court orders for address protection,
A.C.P. (State Address Confidentiality Programs) Check your state
to see if that Program is available. A.C.P. is a program
where to participate in the program you have to be referred by
your local DV leason or protection program you are with. There
are strict rules that apply & you have to follow to a
"T".
Local states that offer A.C.P. :
ADDRESS CONFIDENTIALITY PROGRAM BY
STATE
Remember this can only be done through programs that you are
involved in that help protect you by referral from them. You
might have to ask for this if they do not already offer it
outright. This program does exist!
These people that work for A.C.P. are wonderful advocates for protecting your privacy! Someone asks for your social, have them call A.C.P., your DV Advocates or any other protection program you are under. Their job is to help you stay safe. One way of leaving a whole in their efforts to do that....give out your social. DON'T DO IT! REFUSE & ASK WHY it is needed. Majority of the time it is not even a requirement but they might say, it is...know that it is not.
You should be very careful about sharing your number and card to protect against misuse of your number. Giving your number is voluntary even when you are asked for the number directly. If requested, you should ask:
* Why your number is needed;
* How your number will be used;
* What happens if you refuse;
* What law requires you to give your number to them. (most won't have enough ligit information to give you as to why they need it.)
Some options where you do not have to give your social security #:
* A social security card is not required for an I-9 form a birth certificate or baptismal record can be used instead.
* Vet, doctor, school, utilities, phone companies & cellular.
* A landlord CANNOT "legally deny you housing" because you do not submit your SSN, BY LAW you are not required to.
Only those listed below have the right to you Social. NO ONE ELSE DOES! Protect it. You can also apply for a small monthly fee to protect your social here: http://www.lifelock.com/ GOV USE ONLY!
* Internal Revenue Service for tax returns and federal loans;* Employers for wage and tax reporting purposes;
* Employers enrolled in E-Verify;
* States for the school lunch program;
* Banks for monetary transactions;
* Veterans Administration as a hospital admission number;
* Department of Labor for workers’ compensation;
* Department of Education for Student Loans;
* States to administer any tax, general public assistance, motor vehicle or drivers license law within its jurisdiction;
* States for child support enforcement;
* States for commercial drivers’ licenses;
* States for Food Stamps;
* States for Medicaid;
* States for Unemployment Compensation;
* States for Temporary Assistance to Needy Families; or
* U.S. Treasury for U.S. Savings Bonds Privacy Act requires the agency to inform the person of the following: the statutory or other authority for requesting the information; whether disclosure is mandatory or voluntary; what uses will be made of the information; and the consequences, if any, of failure to provide the information.
NOTE: Even though these programs require a social # you "WILL" still need to express to them the security & privacy of you # with documention proof so that your info within their system can be "red flagged". Meaning that they need to be extremely careful on whom they share this information with. Provide all documents of restraining orders, court orders, A.C.P. protection program for them to better secure you # & information. PROOF REQUIRED but you have to let them know!
New Social Security numbers in cases of domestic violence Updated 12/14/2010 03:24 PM | Answer ID 88
I am a victim of domestic violence. Can I get a new Social Security number assigned?
Yes. Although Social Security does not routinely assign new numbers, we will do so to help protect you when evidence shows you are being harassed or abused or your life is endangered. Applying for a new number is a big decision. It may impact your ability to interact with federal and state agencies, employers and others. This is because your financial, medical, employment and other records will be under your former Social Security number and name (if you change your name). If we assign a new number to you, you may use only that number. You cannot use your old number, too. If you expect to change your name, we recommend you do so before applying for a new number. To get a new number, you must apply in person at any Social Security office. We will help you complete an application for a new number and a statement explaining why you need it. For more information, see New Numbers For Domestic Violence Victims (Publication No. 05-10093). They have the forms there for you to fill out if changing your social is something seriously to consider for safety reasons. Remember if changing your number, don't forget to include your children as well.
So, what to do now......START WRITIN THOSE LETTERS FOR OPT-OUT!
Write a letter to your Congress & State
Representatives can find those listed here:
Write
your Representative
Get INVOLVED....understand & get more
information on what is going on in Gov to help those whom have
experienced Domestic Violence, Violence in General of any kind.
You have a voice...USE IT...who better for them to hear from then
those who have experienced it & your difficulties because the
system isn't perfect & needs to change now. Go here
to
GET INVOLVED. (link)
It is a lot to ask, a lot to do just to protect yourself, your
children & your privacy. I know, but if not yourself doing
this, don't expect that it will just happen & don't wait for
someone else or program to do it for you. They all have limited
rescources, time to do this for everyone. Keep yourself one step
ahead, it makes looking over your shoulder all the time a lot
easier to sleep at night. I hope all this information has helped,
it is a lot of work but it is so worth the time it will take to
do this for a longer reassuance of safety.
REMEMBER THIS: What is your safety, privacy & life worth? You are IMPORTANT, you are SOMEONE SPECIAL, LOVED & if not to yourself to those who depend on you & love you.
Scholarship/Grant Help for College
By L.A.The Women's Opportunity Awards, Soroptimist's major service project, was established by Soroptimist International of the Americas in 1972 to assist women entering or re-entering the workforce in obtaining the education and skills training they need to improve their employment status. Women's Opportunity Awards are designed to give women who provide the primary source of financial support for their families the opportunity to achieve their career goals—an opportunity they have not previously had, whether because of economic or social barriers, or personal circumstances. These awards are for women who are attending, or have been accepted to, a vocational/skills training program, or an undergraduate degree program. Women's Opportunity Awards are cash awards that recipients may use for any expenses related to their educational pursuits. These include tuition and books, housing, child care and transportation. These awards are not scholarships. The program begins at the community level, where award amounts vary. Local winners then become eligible to receive region–level awards. Every year, 28 geographic regions throughout North, Central and South America, and Asia each grant one $5,000 first–place award, and some regions give additional $3,000 awards. These 28 first–place winners become eligible to receive one of three $10,000 finalist awards. CURRENT DEADLINE: Dec. 1 2010
Raise the Nation has three Scholarship/Grant Awards you can apply for.
* Continuing Education Scholarship (pdf document)
* Student Loan Grant (pdf document)
* Child of a Single Parent Women Scholarship (pdf document)
More information on each of these including help paying back student loans via this program can be found here: Raise the Nation Scholarships & Grants
Deadlines and disbursement dates for the next two cycles are as follows: Fall 2010 Application deadline: August 1, 2010 Expected disbursement: September 30, 2010 Spring 2010 Application deadline: December 1, 2010 Expected disbursement: January 30, 2011
Additional Scholarships/Grants for Domestic Violence Victims Survivors:
The R.O.S.E. Fund (nomination only & has to be done by an advocate or organization on your behalf)
What you should know is the R.O.S.E. Fund helps with many other expenses such as The ROSE Fund Reconstructive Surgery Program, The ROSE Fund Research & Report Card Program for communities & The Rose Fund Award for organizations or one outstanding individual such as advocates for their achievements in helping self esteem to women of domestic violence. Read more Here.
Don't forget to always check the NEED BASED PROGRAMS that your local State Educational Grants offer. ;-)
Those advertisements for Single Moms go back to school ...there is a catch to those. Most are strickly for ONLINE college. If that works for you great.
Sometimes the offer up colleges giving the option of online & campus or just campus. What they don't tell you is some will ask for $ to get the information. Some will not let you chose your own school YOU want to attend. These sites are strickly pushing colleges that pay them to promote them for gaining more students. So your only going to get their list of colleges & yours might not even be on that list. Something they don't tell you.
If you know of anymore scholarship, grants, programs or those that sponsor DV women to go back to school post it in comments so others will know. Including myself as I am still in search for tuition help through grants, sponsors & scholarships. Because I was recently accpeted to a great college which now might just be a dream if tuition is accomplished. :-( So far, yet so far away.
In all, know this, YOU CAN MAKE A CHANGE for a better future regardless of what has happened in your life after domestic violence. You owe it to yourself & your children if you have them to prove that good does come out of bad as well as setting a good example for them.
Courage Network is just a stepping stone for all that is out there & if we all continue to post helpful information here, it will soon help many others in finding what they need without all the internet searching & hoping that the some of the programs out there have what they need.
Sometimes it all boils down to how you ask & what you ask for to obtain any information on programs available. Believe it or not some programs don't know about some of the other options out there. Reason why they are finding Courage Network a good place as well for information. For college now you have some information to help your goal of returning to school. I hope this helps. I'll keep adding as I find things.
Remember if you know of any other existing scholarships, grants, aid or businesses/organizations that sponsor DV women going back to college & needing tuition help...PLEASE POST IT!
IMPORTANT INFORMATION!! RE: Internet Privacy
By L.A.YOUR INFORMATION IS NOT PRIVATE!
NOT TO THOSE WHO NEED ABSOLUTE PRIVACY
Spokeo.com
This site not only will allow you to search for your name by states in which you have lived (any & all of them) but gives out your address & aerial view of your location. {mine was old before buildings or house was built but still!}
Search by email address ~ any and all email addresses ever used do a search for. Will pull up your name, photos, address, social networks, blogs, your children - # & how many by name (if paying for additional), your phone number, cell phone, property owned, value, income, your carriers & IP ADDRESS!! When paying you get all the information that isn't viewable for free and even FREE is still way to much personal information. CHECK IT OUT.
Way to much personal info to be posted on a a site & that is just viewable from the free version without paying to join to search!! If giving them your email & password will even do a search for all your friends so if your abuser knows this information now can even get your friends information!!
(I am in a State Address Confidentiality Program but even they are limited to what is out there for public information. Settings on sites for privacy is pretty evidently not that private regardless of your settings they still had mine.)
In viewing in the past USpeople search, Peoplefinders. com etc. I contacted them. Explaining my D.V. Status & purpose for safety for me & my daughter. The reply I got back from Peoplefinders. com that had some personal information for anyone who wants to pay for it had court info, any legal or leins, etc. Anything you want to know about me all you had to do was pay for it. The message recieved back was this: Public records, by law must be available from the official public reacords office to anyone who requests them. Our data base accurately reflects the underlying records compiled from existing data base all over the United States. We do not actually create the data base, simply give you the ability to search for them. (at a cost)
Email Received:
Peoplefinders values your privacy and upon written request can block your records from being shown in many, but not all, of our search results. To do so you should contact us by writing us a letter giving us your:
First Name..., Middle Initial..., Last Name.., Aliases & A.K.A's..Complete current address.., Complete former addresses going back 15 yrs.., Date of birth - including mo., date & year. (this information if you actually paid them to see your own personal information which I have done so long ago will give you all the information you need to give them. Astounded by what you can pull up in PUBLIC RECORDS you can ask for FREE!)
It is also very helpful to print out a copy or include your records that you would like suppressed. Send letter to:
Opt-out/Peoplefinders.com
1821 Q St.
Sacramento, CA 95811
**This information will be kept confidential & is used only to ensure the complete suppression of your records**
Sincerely Customer Service
Peoplefinders. com
Customercare@peoplefinders.com
(800) 718-8997
____________
I am sure you can get this same information via the other people search engines as well. However, to obtain some of your information you do have to pay to see more of what they have. They limit the information viewable for free without actually showing to much info because they want you to pay for it. Spokeo for free gives to much personal information to start with the option of paying to see more but does show some of your photos if you have any posted on the Internet anywhere and even in my personal settings for absolute privacy there some of them were in plain site to confirm it was me.
Intellius.com
Peoplesearching.com
USsearch.com
These are just a few. If you google "People Search Engines Internet" it will pull up all of the Internet search for people available. In thinking...Reputation Defender now looks pretty good for investing in instead to zapp all or most all the people search engines from providing your personal information public or internet from being seen for the fee they are asking. So question? What is your privacy & safety worth to you?
The D.V. Shelter Delimma
By L.A.With county discovered that to them Domestic Violence Victims were classified & no different then labeled "HOMELESS". I can assure you and as all of you already know. We are not the same as your average homeless person. "DISPLACED" yes, because we need to leave for our safety as well as our children if so having. If in staying with the abuser not only do you risk those dangers you are facing already but can lose your children if staying long enough without finally doing the right thing. This is where the system in some states, counties & courts are messed up.
Example of what I have found & experienced. D.V. Shelter - to stay you "have to" get county help, your not allowed to work during your residency, shelter costs per day is higher the anyone's typical monthly rent. Some start at $75 to $200 per person per day. If you don't get county help/aid you have to pay out of your own pocket for stay so a mother & daughter it could cost about or over $3000 mo. for stay in a shelter if paying out of pocket. A mother of 5 is a way over a whopping $10,000 mo. OUCH! (aha!! now you see where others view D.V., county etc as the argument of the tax payers)
There are shelters that allow you to work. Not many. Still it is an out of pocket expense for the victim or they have to seek county help. AH!! County help. Depending on their rules they won't help unless you find a job, if staying in shelter depending if they do not allow you to work then how is this supposed to work?? If staying in a shelter where you are allowed to work the costs are over what you could be spending on a new place to rent. If working and at shelter but still having to seek county help...well if you have ever had to deal with county (some call it welfare) you already know if your working how little the actually help because you get a pay check. Sound frustrating?? Understand why it is so hard for some victims now to leave the abuser if they have no friend or family for support & help?? Or why they go back to the abuser? Things others don't think about.
Here is another example. Staying in D.V. Shelter is a limited stay. Understandably so. For some stay is shorter then a mo, others a little longer. Where I was at the limited stay was 3 mo. at the end of your stay you have to have found and obtained a job & a place to live. So, was frustrated with how do I find a job if I am not allowed to work? How do I obtain safe housing if I don't have a job?? Had it not finally been for a friend to cover & say I was employed so that I could find housing before my 3 mo was up, I would have had no place to go.
What happens to victims after their stay is over if they haven't found, obtained a job & housing??? Your out! If I didn't have a place to go or family & friends to stay with in the first place what makes them think I do now after 3 mo safety stay in that shelter? So I watched a few moms with children/babies get turned then to Emergency homeless shelter. Ah! One big room with cots and your only allowed one bag & what you can carry. Does this sound right to you? Guess what that abuser is living life as normal unless in jail (usually short lived) as if none of this ever happened other then the 2 or 3 mo delay for court if required or not at all. While you the victim saving yourself & your children from harms way.
Something to think about on how the system works. You can't do one thing without the other and you can't achieve the other without first that one thing. So it's a catch, a rock & another rock your stuck between. So, wonder why even after D.V. Shelter stay the victim goes back to the abuser? Or why they chose not to do shelter in the first place? Because not enough of them to get help or safe stay so they go back to what they know the abusive home.
The dilemma of safety & D.V. Shelter stay. Why are some like this? Because there isn't enough funding. The state doesn't see reason to have more of them. Does this mean that they don't acknowledg it happens in their state or county? The tax payers are fighting the good fight about where their money is going because for them "homeless" is someone who isn't applying themselves, abusing the system, waste of their tax paying dollars. I can sympathize to a point being a tax payer but I surely now view this differently. Domestic Violence Victims should never be labeled & in the same catagory as homeless. The two are not exactly the same.
So when speaking out for your right to be safe as well as your children. Remember that speaking out just isn't saying your story, supporting others, etc. you need to speak out to your state representatives or county on how D.V. Safe Housing is needed & more of them or bigger so not so many are turned away. Sadly how many of them not getting the safe housing they were searching didn't make it out of that abusive situation without now more mental or health issues. Or worse didn't make it out alive. Why? Because there was no room in the safe house. Funding isn't there as it should be, city, state & county budget were cut for local shelters because on their list those that vote on these things for what gets cut, axed isn't a concern because someone voting wasn't a victim themselves to know the urgency on why they are needed.
There is only so much a safe housing domestic violence shelter can do without proper funding. There are many out there that are good ones but they still have room shortage and it breaks their hearts to have to send others away. Even legal help services from my own experience were cut while Bush was in office. Leaving me to as the courts say, 'represent yourself or hire an attorney'. While giving him the free court appointed attorney because he was in lue of incarsaration & the courts needed to protect themselves from being sued by lack of representation if facing jail for the abuser. How is any of this right?
I know I am not the only one whose dealt with the delimma's of help from county, state, court or safe housing shelters. I didn't give up and found a safe shelter stay. If not for a friend to help me when my stay was up where would I have ended up? I didn't give up hope. Neither should you. I am a survivor. We can't do this alone.
Domestic Violence & Why She Stays.
By L.A.Current mood:
worriedCategory: Life
I use to wonder that myself.
I watched my mother be abused in two separate marriages.
I thought the same thing. Why? Get out! I would never put myself in that situation.
How wrong I was to think that until I found myself in that kind of relationship three different times.
What a fool, thought by my friends asking the same questions.
I use to ask myself about my Mom when I was a kid. Then I knew why.
One because growing up in that house it became apparent to the child as normal relationship behavior.
Boys tend to grow up finding themselves the abuser or abuse victim in some cases.
Girls well, sometimes the abuser themselves & as adults find themselves being the victim.
Children learn from the life their parents show them and tend to fall into it
themselves once adults, no matter how hard they might try or say they would never.
I said I would never and then found myself smack in the middle of it more then once.
Should I have known better? Tried harder? Seen it before it happened to me?
One would think I should have.
So why do we stay?
* She may have grown up with violence -
* May not have friends of family support if she leaves.
there are not any problems, it's her fault or all just in her head.
only for a little while.
I could go on and on on, this why we stay.
Most of us such as myself finally get fed up have had enough and find
our stronger side to make that leap to get out.
It is a very scary one, difficult decision, the insecurity of what happens next
when staying we know what to expect.
Some of us do, some don't and some even go back to what they know because
the new challenges faced for us or our children is overwhelming without support.
Support isn't always easy to find all the answers we need. WHY?
Why is society so easy to just toss this up as no big deal.
You would be amazed at what states offer little help or refuse to see it is a BIG ISSUE!
It does happen and to many of any race, color or nationality.
Believe it, it's true. Is it happening to you?
No one deserves to be abused. No one!
What so many do not understand & peeves me the most is those that see abuse as "Did he physically hurt you? Then it's not abuse."
SO NOT TRUE!
Even our court system in some areas or some judges personally to chose to not see the full picture of it.
Domestic Violence gives a sense of False Security to the Victim.
We want to believe it is easier to stay then it will be to get out.
Tell me why?
THIS IS ABUSE:
* PSYCHOLOGICAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE -
Your blackmailed with "If you really love me, you would..."
* SOCIAL ABUSE -
* FINANCIAL ABUSE -
Forces you to hand over all your money.
* SEXUAL ABUSE -
* PHYSICAL ABUSE -
Most obvious sign of abuse but not the only one.
KNOW THE SIGNS!
Signs of abuse you need to ask yourself does this happen to me?
What are the signs?
It is hard for the abused party to realize they are being abused.
SO, How do you know?
* VERBAL -
* VIOLENT TEMPER -
Blames you & others for everything.
Gets angry in a way that scares you & other people.
* CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR -
phone use & listening to conversations, everything you do.
Obsessed and possessive - you belong to them like material objects.
Controls all finances & monitors spending.
* EXTREME JEALOUSY -
* ISOLATION -
from school, work & makes you feel guilty if you do forcing you to
chose to stay home so not to cause a fight.
* EMOTIONAL CHANGES -
You find yourself withdrawn & quite when he is around.
* BEHAVIOR OF CHILDREN -
Get quite or withdrawn when he is around, don't ask friends to come over,
make excuses for the above issues listed to protect a parent or sibling, fear they will be taken away if they say anything.
Actions become that of the abuser to others friends, siblings & attitude because to them it is normal behavior.
THESE ARE ABUSE TOO!
Then of course the obvious.
* BRUISES & INJURIES -
Blaming yourself as if you deserved it.
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic Violence is a crime!
Domestic Violence is a pattern or coercive tactics, psychological, emotional,
social, financial, physical, sexual, establishing or maintaining power & control and can happen to anyone.
I broke the chain. You can to for yourself or for your children if you have any.
Did you know if you stay you can have your children taken away from you
for keeping them in this situation?
Most do not know this. Do you want this for your children?
A question I ask my friends whom I have found in the same situation.
Imagine your child, daughter or son as an adult, picture this kind of relationship.
How would you feel about it? How would you handle it?
What advice would you give them?
Think outside to box from a window looking in at your life, their life or a friends.
Would it be GET OUT? SAVE YOURSELF? I AM SCARED FOR YOU?
Would you offer them the support you found or couldn't find?
Your take on this? I am curious to know? Are you yourself being abused?
Do you know someone who is being abused?
Do you know how to help? Do you know where to seek help?
As a "SURVIVOR", I know the pain the difficulties a "VICTIM" endures.
I also know a little help goes a long way. I AM A SURVIVOR, no longer a Victim.
I can now give what was given to me..HOPE that those I know,
can make the transition from victim to SURVIVOR as I did. Your not alone.
JUST KNOWING THAT SOMEONE CARES MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline Website (link) or www.ndvh.org
