Stop and Stretch...
By Bella GraceHow was it? Did you feel anything? Do you feel better?
Ok, Now try this:
STRETCH your mind...go way out from your day to day flow.
STRETCH your way of thinking...remove your thoughts and apply your dream(s).
STRETCH your eyelids over your eyes...begin to see your dream(s) in a reality state of being.
STRETCH your mouth...and let positive words flow from it.
STRETCH your words and let life, not death flow from it.
STRETCH your perception of time...understand that your delay is not a denial. Go forward and make that dream a reality.
Now I ask you how do you feel?
Stop sitting around waiting on someone else to make you feel better. Get up and get moving. Put your faith at work. And once you get to moving, don't look back. I love you so much but more importantly God does.
Be encouraged. Be inspired. Be who He created you to be.
Love,
Bella Grace
Good morning: someone; somebody; something
By Bella GraceToday I heard this:
"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice--not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing." (Jeremiah 10:23-24 NIV)
What He said to me was this:
You do not own your own life. However, you are SOMEBODY to me...precious in my sight. The more you push to walk in my ways and follow my word, you will have what is yours on this earth as well as in heaven. Don't let any person or situation make you feel less than who you are for they are not me. I told you who you are. You are an OVERCOMER, a CONQUEROR, a CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH, a BELIEVER. Continue to TRUST in my word. Have FAITH in my word, and I will give you ALL that I have promised to you, your children, and those connected to you. Remind yourself that it is when you choose to not follow my (His) word, that is when you are reduced to nothing. Remind yourself everyday that you are SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING and say good morning to another SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING the way you did to me and I with you. For the same way you put a smile on my face and I upon your face, you will be able to put a smile upon their face which is worth far more than anything paid for with money.
I needed to hear and read that word this morning. I needed to share that word this morning as well (at 7:50am.) Usually I am laying down resting or sleep due to the pain in my spine and my leg. However, this morning He gave me enough strength to rise and share this message with you. Even if I am not able to blog another thing today, or do anything else this made me happy and kept my mind off of the pain and my current circumstances.
I know that for a lot of us it looks as if we have hit the bottom of the bottom of the dirt. But don't you know that is where seeds are planted. The land is cultivated (prepped) and awaits the arrival of that "small" seed to be deposited. Then the seed arrives and is dropped off in this new land. Dark and gloomy with new inhabitants/neighbors (worms, slugs, and other seeds.) Then comes the ONE. The one that will take the time out to make sure you receive enough sun (light), water (nourishment), and care (not neglect.) Before you know it you begin to grow (soaring to new heights.) Then comes the breaking point (time to emerge from the soil to the skies. You look at yourself and all you see is this tall, skinny stalk. You say to yourself, "how can I get through this thing looking the way I look." You feel like "everytime I get to soar through with no issues, I am met with a hard challenge that I can't get through (no money, no house, no job, no support, consistent no's for everything you ask people for, overdue/unpaid bills, etc.)" But then a ray of hope beams down a small tiny crevice in the ground. You catch glimpse of it and begin to go where the light is coming from. Focused and determined on that light, you have no time to hear, see, or feel any distraction or hinderance coming your way. And before you know it, you have broken through that solid ground and have reached that thing you have been working so hard to get through. And now that "small" seed has become a "BIG" flower standing tall, strong, and beautiful.
It's a breath of fresh air, even for me to type those words. Knowing that you have endured past the hardship and that you have made it. Knowing that you might not look like too much now, but soon all will see that you weren't a small seed all along, but a big flower in disguise. Remember, "looks can be deceiving."
Beginning today, do not let your past situation, current situation, or future fears, keep you from emmencing from the soil to the earth. Be still and watch for the light. Even if you might be saying "I do this already," let this encourage you that you are on the right track, and be a blessing by passing this message on.
Your breakthrough is a beam of light a way.
Have a great morning SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING.
Be a blessing, because you are already blessed.
Princess Grace
Caring Means Sharing
By Bella GraceAs I look at this world that we live in, I am amazed at how many adults seem to have difficulties when it comes to following that very same message that was intended for children. We often tell each things like, "if I could I would, " "let me know if you need anything," or "I'm here whenever you need me." Here's the thing, why do we need to wait for the "person in need" to contact us first before we reach out and share.
Whether if it be advice, information, or a physical thing if you have something SHARE. You never will know if that person or group will be able to benefit from what you possess if you simply never do it because you are waiting for them to reach out to you.
I remember when I was going through what I would like to call my "Emancipation" process (walking away from my ex-boyfriend/abuser.) During this process, I spent some of my time in a hospital room learning how to do the "simple things" again (breathing, walking, utilizing my fingers, etc.) At no particular time did any one feel the need to SHARE information with me that I would have consider to be important information. If I didn't ask, I wouldn't know. Just typing that statement makes me shake my head in disgust at how selfish people can be whether knowingly or unknowingly. Still to this day, I seem to experience the same thing from people especially in regards to domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a very serious situation that is growing consistently by the second. So many cases are being added to the files of unreported. So many restraining orders are being dropped on a daily basis while others are not even being filed. It's not because our fellow sisters and brothers do not want to change their situation. It's because the information needed to reverse this process isn't being SHARED with them. it doesn't take much at all. Every little bit amounts to a lot.
I remember I met a woman back in 2002 at the courthouse in Newark, NJ. She was so nervous and afraid, yet steady telling herself as she tried to convince me that it would be best if she dropped her restraining order because the guy didn't seem to be the type to do anything worse than fill her gas tank with sugar and bust out all of her windows on her car. Because I cared, I shared! I shared my personal photo album with her. This photo album contained photos of my mother's kitchen where I was stabbed 13 times in front of my children, as well as photos of me hospitalized with a chest tube connected to me. By SHARING the information I had, another life was able to be saved. Another person was able stand firm with their "gut feeling" and not allow fear to intimidate them and change their mind.
The bible talks about how people are destroyed from lack of knowledge in Hosea 4:6. What you don't know can literally kill you -- I know from experience. It doesn't have to literally kill you as in death. It can kill your self-esteem, your goals, make you depressed, bitter, angry, or lonely. Together we can all put an end to selfishness and start SHARING. Please understand that it's not about you alone, it's about helping others which also helps you.
I decided to write this because it was on my heart and because I care I decided to SHARE.
Be a blessing, because you are already blessed.
Princess Grace
A Future with Hope
By Courage Network
by Nancy Werking Poling,
Author of Out of the Pumpkin Shell,
It seemed natural for Linda to take her personal problems to her pastor. He listened kindly as she described her husband’s quick temper, the way he sometimes got so mad he hit her and bruised her body. Linda needed to hear someone say, “This is wrong. God intends that the relationship between husband and wife be one of mutual respect.”
Instead, the pastor said, “Go home and try not to anger him. Jesus set an example for us: that we are to suffer for his sake. God will not give you any more to bear than you can handle.” Then Linda and her pastor knelt and prayed.
Our faith should be a source of empowerment and healing. Yet churches have more often than not failed women who live with domestic violence. Some ministers preach that divorce is a sin, or that a woman is to obey her husband. Sometimes members, refusing to accept the truth that abuse occurs in Christian homes, ignore signs that women or children in the congregation are being abused, physically or emotionally. “What happens in a family is that family’s business,” church people may say.
In Victim to Survivor: Women Recovering from Clergy Sexual Abuse, a lady we called Et Al to protect her identity says of her childhood, “People knew of my father’s drinking and physically abusive behavior, but no one intervened or said his actions were wrong….Mama tolerated his verbal and physical abuse. She coped by trying to ignore it and sought comfort in reading Scripture or listening to the radio evangelist extol the redemptive power of suffering.”
It might seem that the church, the entire Christian tradition itself, is not to be trusted with victims’ pain. But that is not necessarily true. Within many religious bodies, attitudes about the abuse of women and children have begun to change. Clergy are being trained to respond with compassion and to assist in finding safety. People of faith are sponsoring hotlines and shelters for women and children living with domestic violence. Christian groups are bringing new eyes and open minds to passages that have traditionally been used to suppress women. At the same time they are lifting up scriptures that empower victims and help them find healing.
Denominations have been speaking out against violence in the home, forming task forces, writing official statements, training pastors on how to respond. I am most familiar with what the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) has been doing. In 2001 its General Assembly approved a policy statement on domestic violence, bringing to the denomination’s attention the causes of domestic violence, efforts the church can take to prevent it, and suggestions for ministering to victims. The statement is accompanied by a study guide for individuals and groups (available through http://www.pcusa.org/phewa/resources/resources-padvn.htm).
Because abusers within the church have often hidden behind scripture, such as “Wives, be obedient to your husbands,” groups are challenging traditional interpretations. Christians for Biblical Equality deals with abuse issues on its website: (http://www.cbeinternational.org/?q=content/abuse).
FaithTrust Institute (formerly Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence) has for many years provided leadership and materials to the various faith communities: Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Christians. On its website (http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org), FaithTrust says of its mission: “We believe that the teachings of our religious traditions have been a source of pain and confusion as well as a source of strength and healing for those facing sexual and domestic violence.”
These three groups are only a small sample of the many Christians speaking to the issue of domestic violence.
What recommendations do I have for victims who are also people of faith? First, don’t think for a minute that God is testing you or has placed you in that situation for a reason. Affirmation can be found in Jeremiah 29:11: “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” I believe that God’s intention for us all is that we be part of loving, respectful relationships.
Second, you may want to question your own understanding of scripture. If you’ve been taught that a woman is to obey her husband or that it is her lot to suffer as Jesus suffered, read what Christians for Biblical Equality are saying. Open your mind to alternate interpretations of scripture.
Third, find a spiritual guide. Before you turn to your pastor, consider what clues he/she has provided in sermons about marriage and the relationship between a husband and wife. If the pastor has spoken of the authority of the male and against divorce in general, turn to someone else. My own pastor tells of how often women, seeing a woman’s name on the board in front of the church, come in to seek her counsel because their male pastors have only added to their pain.
My mother once told me that fifty years ago a small circle of women in her church knew that Alice was regularly raped by her husband. They knew that Martha’s husband verbally abused her. From the pulpit the pastor preached that wives were to obey their husbands and that Jesus taught us to forgive seventy times seven. This circle of women, while they felt powerless to take actions that would free Alice and Martha, listened to and offered sympathy to their victimized sisters. Fifty years ago women were helping each other the best they could. Today many communities have faith-based agencies that can direct you to local resources, such as a shelter, and offer emotional support.
Yes, it is possible to find empowerment and healing in your faith tradition. The Psalmist speaks to your pain; Jesus suffers with you. Somewhere a pastor, perhaps not the one in your own congregation, has the training and will to accompany you. Somewhere there is a circle of support, women who have walked in your shoes or compassionate people of faith who want to share God’s love.
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Nancy Werking Poling first became a DV advocate as a result of editing/writing materials related to DV for Presbyterian Church (USA). She edited VICTIM TO SURVIVOR: WOMEN RECOVERING FROM CLERGY SEXUAL ABUSE. Her recent novel, OUT OF THE PUMPKIN SHELL, brings together the themes of female friendship and domestic violence. To learn more about Nancy and her work please visit www.nancypoling.com.
