Survivor/Advocate/Author, Donna M. Savage Establishes Domestic Violence Services Specifically for Abusers, with the First Nation
By Donna
Domestic Violence Survivor/Advocate/Author, Donna M. Savage
Establishes Domestic Violence Services Specifically for Abusers,
with the First National 24 Hour Abuser Hotline (888)
SOS-ABUSER
Survivor/Advocate/Author Donna Savage Speaks Out!
Flanders, New Jersey, July 12, 2010 – Donna Savage is the Founder/Executive Director of The Domestic Violence and AIDS Mission of New Jersey 501(c)3 Nonprofit Corporation. The Organization was established with a focus on domestic violence abusers and connecting them with vital services such as counseling, prayer and suicide hotlines, drug/alcohol programs, anger management, etc., before it’s too late.
Ms. Savage adamantly states, “I look forward to all of my advocacy work, with one goal in mind…to save lives from being taken by the heinous crime of domestic violence. Many are entangled in the vicious cycle of abuse with the death toll rising everyday, all across the world. I am relentless in my mission to continue to make a positive difference in the statistics. If we don’t get abusers the crucial, volunteer help they desperately need, we will never break the violent cycle and many more lives will be lost. An abuser will not call a Victim’s Hotline…they need a dedicated hotline, with confidentiality. Even if we help one abuser to turn his/her life around to become non violent, we could possibly save more than one life. The services DVAMNJ offers to domestic violence abusers is unprecedented and we look forward to seeing our mission accomplished!”
The Domestic Violence and AIDS Mission of New Jersey 501(c)3 Nonprofit Corporation has just launched its new website WWW.DVAMNJ.ORG Two of the services established by the organization are specifically for abusers… “The Real Man Campaign: Man to Man Advocacy Program and the National 24 Hour Abuser Hotline (888) SOS-ABUSER. Both of these services will work in conjunction with each other, utilizing male advocates for male abusers. DVAMNJ is currently looking for volunteers to help with all of the services offered. We are an AIDS awareness organization as well as domestic violence. Contact the agency for further details and/or visit the website.
Scholarship/Grant Help for College
By L.A.The Women's Opportunity Awards, Soroptimist's major service project, was established by Soroptimist International of the Americas in 1972 to assist women entering or re-entering the workforce in obtaining the education and skills training they need to improve their employment status. Women's Opportunity Awards are designed to give women who provide the primary source of financial support for their families the opportunity to achieve their career goals—an opportunity they have not previously had, whether because of economic or social barriers, or personal circumstances. These awards are for women who are attending, or have been accepted to, a vocational/skills training program, or an undergraduate degree program. Women's Opportunity Awards are cash awards that recipients may use for any expenses related to their educational pursuits. These include tuition and books, housing, child care and transportation. These awards are not scholarships. The program begins at the community level, where award amounts vary. Local winners then become eligible to receive region–level awards. Every year, 28 geographic regions throughout North, Central and South America, and Asia each grant one $5,000 first–place award, and some regions give additional $3,000 awards. These 28 first–place winners become eligible to receive one of three $10,000 finalist awards. CURRENT DEADLINE: Dec. 1 2010
Raise the Nation has three Scholarship/Grant Awards you can apply for.
* Continuing Education Scholarship (pdf document)
* Student Loan Grant (pdf document)
* Child of a Single Parent Women Scholarship (pdf document)
More information on each of these including help paying back student loans via this program can be found here: Raise the Nation Scholarships & Grants
Deadlines and disbursement dates for the next two cycles are as follows: Fall 2010 Application deadline: August 1, 2010 Expected disbursement: September 30, 2010 Spring 2010 Application deadline: December 1, 2010 Expected disbursement: January 30, 2011
Additional Scholarships/Grants for Domestic Violence Victims Survivors:
The R.O.S.E. Fund (nomination only & has to be done by an advocate or organization on your behalf)
What you should know is the R.O.S.E. Fund helps with many other expenses such as The ROSE Fund Reconstructive Surgery Program, The ROSE Fund Research & Report Card Program for communities & The Rose Fund Award for organizations or one outstanding individual such as advocates for their achievements in helping self esteem to women of domestic violence. Read more Here.
Don't forget to always check the NEED BASED PROGRAMS that your local State Educational Grants offer. ;-)
Those advertisements for Single Moms go back to school ...there is a catch to those. Most are strickly for ONLINE college. If that works for you great.
Sometimes the offer up colleges giving the option of online & campus or just campus. What they don't tell you is some will ask for $ to get the information. Some will not let you chose your own school YOU want to attend. These sites are strickly pushing colleges that pay them to promote them for gaining more students. So your only going to get their list of colleges & yours might not even be on that list. Something they don't tell you.
If you know of anymore scholarship, grants, programs or those that sponsor DV women to go back to school post it in comments so others will know. Including myself as I am still in search for tuition help through grants, sponsors & scholarships. Because I was recently accpeted to a great college which now might just be a dream if tuition is accomplished. :-( So far, yet so far away.
In all, know this, YOU CAN MAKE A CHANGE for a better future regardless of what has happened in your life after domestic violence. You owe it to yourself & your children if you have them to prove that good does come out of bad as well as setting a good example for them.
Courage Network is just a stepping stone for all that is out there & if we all continue to post helpful information here, it will soon help many others in finding what they need without all the internet searching & hoping that the some of the programs out there have what they need.
Sometimes it all boils down to how you ask & what you ask for to obtain any information on programs available. Believe it or not some programs don't know about some of the other options out there. Reason why they are finding Courage Network a good place as well for information. For college now you have some information to help your goal of returning to school. I hope this helps. I'll keep adding as I find things.
Remember if you know of any other existing scholarships, grants, aid or businesses/organizations that sponsor DV women going back to college & needing tuition help...PLEASE POST IT!
The First Ever Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence
By Courage Network
I came across a tweet on Twitter @violatorstop that
was
"Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence | ahomedata.com http://bit.ly/9bOv8Y "
and discovered this AMAZING resource for the field of domestic
violence that was edited by Dr. Nicki Ali Jackson titled The
Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence. This book was
released in 2007 and is the first-ever published encylopedia in
the field. Dr. Jackson has also published
articles and edited other books on crime victims. The
complete description of the book from the publisher Routledge says:"The Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence is a modern reference from the leading international scholars in domestic violence research. This ground-breaking project has created the first ever publication of an encyclopedia of domestic violence. The primary goal of the Encyclopedia is to provide information on a variety of traditional, as well as breakthrough, issues in this complex phenomenon.
The coverage of the Encyclopedia is broad and diverse, encompassing the entire life span from infancy to old age. The entries include the traditional research areas, such as battered women, child abuse and dating violence. However, this Encyclopedia is unique in that it includes many under-studied areas of domestic violence, such as ritual abuse-torture within families, domestic violence against women with disabilities, pseudo-family violence and domestic violence within military families. It is also unique in that it examines cross-cultural perspectives of domestic violence.
One of the key special features in this Encyclopedia is the cross-reference section at the end of each entry. This allows the reader the ability to continue their research of a particular topic.
This book will be an easy-to-read reference guide on a host of topics, which are alphabetically arranged. Precautions have been taken to ensure that the Encyclopedia is not politically slanted; rather, it is hoped that it will serve as a basic guide to better understanding the myriad issues surrounding this labyrinthine topic.
Topics covered include: Victims of Domestic Violence; Theoretical Perspectives and Correlates to Domestic Violence; Cross-Cultural Perspectives and Religious Perspectives; Understudied Areas within Domestic Violence Research; Domestic Violence and the Law; and Child Abuse and Elder Abuse."
Click here to view the full table of contents.
Has your organization heard about this book? This book is a must have for those involved in domestic violence advocacy and EVERY organization needs to have this work. Thank you Dr. Jackson for putting in the time and effort to creating this great publication, one that is very needed in the field of domestic violence. We have to create and place more comprehensive resources in the hands of every person involved with this issue.
Domestic Violence and Mediation: Concerns and Recommendations
By Courage Network
This article was originally post at www.mediate.com/articles/vestala3.cfm and is used with permission.
Is
mediation an appropriate forum for conflicted couples to
resolve issues of marital dissolution and child
custody? A review of the literature indicates that
serious concerns have been raised about issues of safety,
power imbalances, and the rights of the battered woman when
mediation is used instead of court litigation (Charbonneau,
et. al. 1992; Thoennnes, Salem & Pearson, 1994;
Newmark, Harrell and Salem, 1994, Geffner & Pagelow,
1990; Perry, 1994; Fischer, Vidmar & Ellis, 1993.) This
article synthesizes recommendations of several researchers
and studies conducted during the 1990's to develop a
mediation protocol that addresses concerns about the
efficacy of mediating with couples who have a history of
domestic violence. In addition to suggested techniques and
procedures, the article concludes with insights into the
societal issues of violence and a long-term strategy for
reducing the incidence of domestic abuse.
Why is Domestic Violence an Issue for Mediators? Domestic violence is prevalent and common in American families. Mediation as a pre-litigation alternative for divorcing couples is growing in popularity and usage. A growing number of states now mandate that couples mediate for family issues such as custody and visitation prior to court intervention. Today, there is a growing potential that domestic violence will be a factor in many cases referred for family mediation. Recent studies have estimated that spousal abuse is present in at least half of custody and visitation disputes referred to family court mediation programs (Newmark, Harrell & Salem, 1994; Pearson, 1997). The abusive relationship may not be disclosed to the mediator in many cases, for many reasons. However, disclosed or not, mediators must understand the potential for one of every two cases referred to them as being domestic violence cases. Family mediators need to know how to identify and process these couples in the most appropriate manner. Recognizing and Identifying Domestic Violence Domestic violence is not always obvious or easily recognized. There is a strong tendency to keep it a secret, to deny and minimize what has happened or simply to accept the behavior as a "normal" way of functioning in the relationship. If the couple is unable to identify and label the abuse in their relationship and understand it as abuse, the mediator intervening needs to be alert to interactions they describe that may fit a pattern and history of domestic violence. The phrase "culture of battering" describes the phenomenon of domestic violence in a way that shifts the focus from isolated episodes of abuse and captures dynamics of a relationship where there is a pattern of domination and control (Fischer, Vidmar & Ellis, 1993). When isolated interactions are described, such as the silent treatment, a glaring look, a stern voice or a critical tone, it is easy to overlook the context of these behaviors and minimize them until they disappear into insignificance. Those outside the intimate relationship cannot understand the meaning of the communication that extends far beyond the words or non-verbal cues. Dutton (1994) cautions that domestic violence should not be understood as simply a list of episodes or a list of aggressive behaviors that can be added up. Rather it is a pattern of interaction that influences the dynamics of the intimate relationship. Domestic violence and abuse can be grouped into three general categories: physical abuse, sexual abuse and psychological abuse, which include intentional harm to property and pets. Some form of psychological abuse often accompanies physical abuse and sexual abuse. The function of the abuse is to maintain control over another. Physical and sexual violence is easier to identify than psychological abuse. Examples of psychological abuse include (Dutton, 1994): Threats and intimidation - threats to take the children away or to destroy her financially; attempts to coerce her into illegal activity; displaying or threatening with weapons; destroying objects; menacing gestures; isolation or limited use of telephone or contact with others. Minimization, denial and blaming - blaming the woman when violence occurs or acting like the abuse is non-existent or not a problem Using children - to relay messages of intimidation or threat; using custody or visitation proceedings to gain access to the woman or to control her whereabouts. Using economic resources - unilaterally maintaining exclusive access to cash, credit cards, bank accounts; accruing debt in the woman's name; withholding child support payments. Use of "male privilege" - making unilateral decisions about such issues as where to live, major purchases, whether she is employed outside the home; sleep or food deprivation; controlling her perceptions by limiting access to information Emotional abuse and degradation - name calling, insults, inducing altered states through hypnosis or forced drug/alcohol use. Stalking - repeatedly sending letters, appearing at her work or home, and incessant phone calls that carry the message of intimidation. Strategies Women Use to Resist Domestic Violence Many find it very difficult to understand why a woman would allow or put up with an abusive relationship. Those who have not experienced domestic violence may assume that termination of the relationship would equal termination of the violence. That is not always the case, however. The separation process can sometimes signal an abrupt increase in violence; the most dangerous time for women in abusive relationships is when they are in the process of attempting to separate physically or legally. Research has indicated that the frequency and severity of abusive attacks increases just prior to or during the time that they have made the decision to leave or to separate (Geffner & Pagelow, 1990; Dutton, 1994; Pearson, 1997). The strategy of separating or terminating the relationship is not always sensible or preferred due to economic, health and social factors as well as children's needs. It is simply not a viable option for many battered women. These women do, however, resist the violence and abuse in a number of ways. Dutton (1994) categorizes battered women's help-seeking strategies into three classifications: personal, informal and formal. Personal strategies for resisting domestic violence include hiding, disguising her appearance, compliance with his demands, or fighting back. Informal ways that women seek help in their resistance include telling family or friends, seeking shelter, and seeking support groups. The third category consists of formal strategies such as calling the police, filing for divorce or separation, seeking mental health or medical intervention. Behaviors that are associated with feelings of powerlessness take many forms depending on the nature of the relationship and the characteristics of the partners. The partner who is feeling powerless may use competitive strategies such as aggression, violence, opposition, manipulation, fighting back, or using power over others. She may exhibit attitudes of distrust, suspicion and defensiveness. She could be clannish, isolated and withdrawn or hypersensitive and paranoid. Since domestic violence in a frequent problem in family mediation (Pearson, 1997), family mediators need to look for the potential for domestic violence even though both parties may deny it. When there are descriptions of fighting and confrontation, calling the police, hiding from him, or seeking shelter with friends or family members, these are signals of abuse in the relationship that should not be ignored by the mediator. Signs and Signals That Violence / Abuse Might be Present in the Family When a contested custody case reaches mediation, particularly in states where mediation is mandatory for these cases, it is important for the mediator to understand that there is a very strong likelihood that domestic violence does or has characterized the relationship (Pearson, 1997). Batterers use violence to maintain the upper hand and control their spouses. Thus a woman in mediation usually cannot advocate for herself without fearing the response of her abusive partner (Geffner & Pagelow, 1990). Mediators need to be alert to the common occurrence of minimizing domestic violence and reframing the intentions of the abuser. Victims regularly erase the violence against them by glossing over the reality of violence in their descriptions, or leaving out significant aspects of the violent episodes. Battered women may also assign innocent intentions to the abusive partner, convincing themselves and others that it was only an accident or he did not intend to cause pain (Cobb, 1997). Women often tend to deny their suffering while the abusers deny their culpability. Werner (1994) researched communication behaviors in mediators and parties involved in child custody mediation. While the study was not focused on issues of domestic violence, it noted the behavior of unsuccessful couples as being more competitive. They used behavior that was confrontative such as blaming, faultfinding, accusing; dominating the conversation; interrupting; being critical; making threats. The implications of these findings for couples in mediation might be that highly conflicted couples exhibiting confrontative communication patterns such as those noted may be enmeshed in patterns of domestic violence. Reactions to feelings of powerlessness are very strong in battered women. Her feelings may include insecurity, guilt, anger, resentment, exhaustion, hopelessness, inferiority, shame, incompetence, and helplessness. Grim feelings that may remain with her are fear, pain, depression, and self-hatred. Geffner and Pagelow (1990) argue that fear is always present when battered women confront their abusive partners. Batterers use their anger and violence to maintain the upper hand and control their partners. Thus a woman in mediation cannot advocate for herself without fearing her batterer's reaction. Understanding How Partners Get Stuck in Abusive Relationships While the prevalence of abuse between spouses is well documented, the tendency to keep it a secret is still quite common. Pearson (1997) notes that relatively few people acknowledge domestic violence unless asked in a very direct and specific manner. It is very difficult for a woman to admit what is going on and there is often a cover up by both the woman and her abusive partner. She may be in a state of denial. She may minimize the abuse to fit with her own self-concept that she does not deserve such treatment, therefore it is not happening. Mary Ann Dutton describes cases where the secrecy of domestic violence has been so complete that no one other than the battered woman has clear knowledge of it. Family and friends either deny it or were shielded from knowledge of the abuse; bruises were hidden by clothing; and absentee employment was masked by sick leave or changing jobs (Dutton, 1994). Mediators who have never experienced such abuse on an interpersonal level, or who have not been trained to identify and cope with domestic violence may have difficulty understanding or believing what they hear from either or both partners.. One question that is perplexing for those who have never been exposed to such abuse is "why didn't she leave if it was really that bad?" Another common myth is that the woman brought the violence on herself and therefore she can change her behavior to stop or resolve it (Cobb, 1997; Dutton, 1994). Both of these reactions are flawed. Leaving the relationship is an option that may be open for a minority of women. But as noted earlier, there are inherent risks of safety, since violence tends to escalate following the decision to terminate or separate from the relationship (Geffner & Pagelow, 1990; Dutton, 1994; Pearson, 1997). In addition to safety factors there are other difficult barriers to leaving that include the children's well being, economic and social issues. Battered women stay with their partners due to fear, lack of money, and lack of a place to go. Isolation is common for many battered women; they do not have a network of family and friends to support them (Warters, 1986). The second false assumption centers on the woman's responsibility for the abuse; her behavior toward her partner caused him to abuse her. This misconception leads to the erroneous conclusion that she can stop or reduce the violence by changing her behavior toward him. Dutton (1995) notes that both professionals and laypersons often believe the battered woman can stop the violence if only she does the right thing. She notes that "sometimes batterers stop their violent and abusive behavior, but whether they do depends on the batterer, not on the battered woman's response to violence." (Dutton, 1995, p. 26). Cobb analyzed the mediation discourse for several cases involving family violence and found that mediators deflected the woman's requests to address issues of abusive language toward her by her ex-husband. In response to her repeated requests to ask him to agree to stop calling her names, the mediators suggested that she consider what she could do to limit it or not answer when he makes a remark. "Women are constructed as more able to change and therefore as bearing more responsibility for ending violence. By implication, victims are responsible for their own victimization." (Cobb, 1997, p. 20). These pervasive attitudes - the fear and shame of the battered woman, the notion that the woman causes the abuse and therefore can stop it, and the insinuation that the woman is responsible for changing her behavior to minimize the violence directed toward her - keep women stuck in abusive relationships. Our society has historically maintained the "sanctity of the family." Public involvement in family matters is only a recent phenomena; and many members of our criminal justice system still believe that men are entitled to rule the family without much intervention from the law or the court. As long as society lacks the supports to enable women to be heard and understood, as well as to provide her with viable options, countless women will have no real choice but to stay in abusive relationships. What Interventions Help Mediation Programs Deal with Cases of Domestic Violence? It is clear that domestic violence is common in disputes involving divorce, child custody and visitation issues. Given the prevalence and challenges of these cases, mediation programs should be prepared to deal effectively with them. There are three general approaches to this preparation: 1) education and training of family mediators 2) screening of all divorce and post-divorce cases to determine which cases are appropriate for mediation 3) employing specialized techniques and procedures before, during and after the mediation sessions. In this section, the specialized techniques and procedures are outlined. Discussion of the first two interventions - screening of cases and training of mediators - follows in subsequent sections. Just as the foremost rule of any professional intervention should always be first do no harm, mediation programs should consider the safety of the parties to be of primary concern. There are features that should be introduced in family mediation programs to address the parties' safety, the mediator's safety and measure that are related to facilities and atmosphere. Chance and Gerencser (1996) list several measures to modify the facilities, such as:
Measures to safeguard the parties should recognize the inherent risks in allowing a violent person to know the time and place where his partner will be present for mediation (Pearson, 1997). Such personal measures could include the visible presence of a peace officer and escorts to accompany clients to the parking lot after mediation. It is also important that the woman have a safety plan if violence has escalated or if she anticipates that it will. The mediator may be able to help her think through strategies to safeguard herself and the children. She should also be informed about how to secure restraining or protection orders, if necessary. Apart from policies and procedures to protect the clients from risks from the violent partner, mediation programs can incorporate a variety of techniques to employ during the mediation process. The most important technique is pre-mediation screening, which will be more fully discussed later. The purpose of pre-mediation screening for domestic violence is to determine whether the case is appropriate for mediation. Once it has been determined by a trained and qualified interviewer/mediator that the couple is suitable for mediation, the mediator should use techniques to balance power. The mediator is encouraged to make use of the private caucus, so the woman does not have to agree to anything in her partner's presence. Private meetings give the woman an opportunity to disclose any fears or concerns. (Perry, 1994). Additional techniques recommended by Salem and Milne (1995) include mediation methods where the parties are not in face to face contact. Shuttle mediation is when the mediator moves back and forth while the parties are in separate rooms, or attending sessions at different times. Telephone mediation is suggested when travel and safety issues are a concern. Chance and Gerencser (1996) recommend limited contact during the mediation process when domestic violence has been an issue. Ground rules can be used to restrict discussion topics and to preclude topics the batterers may want to negotiate such as dropping the abuse charges or modification of protection orders (Salem & Milne, 1995). Screening Domestic Violence Cases that are not Appropriate for Mediation Preliminary screening of couples referred for family mediation is conducted to determine whether the dispute and the parties are good candidates for mediation. Pre-mediation screening is highly recommended by many practitioners in the field to determine which cases can be mediated and which cases are not suitable for mediation (Girdner, 1990; Perry, 1994; Chance & Gerencser, 1996; Pearson, 1997; Salem & Milne, 1995; Thoennes, Salem & Pearson, 1994). Writing for the Florida Bar Journal, Judge Chester Chance and mediator Alison Gerencser argue that "Screening all family mediations is imperative and should be mandated for all cases involving family issues." (Chance & Gerencser, 1996, p.54). They further recommend that all participants in family law mediation work together to develop appropriate screening tools. Salem and Milne (1995) outline several features of a screening process. Battered women are unlikely to disclose abuse without an effective and sensitively administered process. Preliminary screening may include a written questionnaire that is sent to the parties before an appointment or administered at an intake session. Screening may also be conducted over the telephone before the first session. However, the privacy of the screening process should never be compromised (Salem & Milne, p. 37). There are tools in existence that have been designed to assess issues of domestic violence. The interviewer asks questions specifically about domestic violence. Some of these screening tools include the Tolman Screening Model developed by Richard Tolman at the University of Illinois; Screening Questionnaire used in the study conducted by Newmark, Harrell and Salem (1994); the Ellis Screening Model used in the Maine Domestic Abuse and Mediation Project (1992); and the Conflict Assessment Protocol (CAP) developed by Linda Girdner (1990). Linda Girdner believes it is the responsibility of mediators to attempt to identify which parties from abusive relationships can benefit from mediation and those that need to be excluded from mediation and referred to other resources. The CAP identifies the parties' patterns of decision-making, fighting and expressing anger, as well as their history of abusive behaviors. The mediator can use this information to assess the dimensions of power and control in the relationship. (Girdner, 1990). The CAP has four parts: 1) introduction, 2) questions about patterns of decision-making, conflict management and anger expression, and 3) questions about specific abusive behaviors, and 4) closure to the separate screening session. The interviewer doing the screening may or may not be a mediator, but should be trained in recognizing signs of domestic violence. Fischer, et. al recommend that screening should not be done by those with interests in mediation, but by independent persons with skills and sensitivity to identify and assist cases of domestic violence. (Fischer, Vidmar & Ellis, 1993). After the screening interview, cases are sorted in three categories which represent a continuum from non-abusive and non-controlling relationships with equal power on one end to severely abusive, controlling, potentially lethal relationships on the other end (Girdner, 1990). Three different approaches to mediation are recommended depending on how the couple is assessed with the CAP. Couples who have not had control as a central feature of their relationship and have never had any patterns of abusive behavior (emotional, physical, sexual or economic) by either party are those likely to benefit from mediation conducted in the customary manner. The second group of couples are likely to benefit if mediation proceeds with specific ground rules, resources and skills available. Couples in this category may have experienced abusive relationship, but none of the factors described in category three (below) are present to exclude the case. The mediator working with these couples must be highly skilled in power balancing, be very knowledgeable about domestic violence and its impact on children and families, and they must have an excellent network of community resources. Ground rules to which both parties must agree for mediation to be effective with these couples are the following: (Girdner, 1990).
The couples in the third category are those most likely to experience harm and should be excluded from mediation. If one or both parties are unable to negotiate, or if indicators exist that the abuser is capable of seriously injuring his partner, these cases cannot be safely mediated. Interviewers conducting the pre-mediation screening should exclude from mediation couples with the following situational factors: (Girdner, 1990)
In addition to Girdner's criteria, Salem and Milne (1995) warn that mediation is inappropriate when there is ongoing abuse or the batterer uses or threatens to use a weapon. In the report for the Maine Domestic Abuse and Mediation Project (1992), a sample protocol is included for dangerous assessment, aimed at batterers who are life endangering. Jessica Pearson reviewed court-based divorce mediation program to determine how domestic violence cases are being handled. She found that 80% of the programs surveyed reported screening for domestic violence, but only half of the programs use private interviews to question clients specifically about violence (Pearson, 1997). Some examples of pre-screening practices include mediation programs in Honolulu, Tucson, Chicago, Portland, Maine, Santa Ana, California, and Litchfield, Connecticut. It is beyond the scope of this paper to describe each site's practices, but two will be described. The others can be found in Jessica Pearson's article in Mediation Quarterly (1997). In Litchfield, Connecticut, family relations counselors of the court screen all custody and visitation disputes at the point of referral. If family violence issues are noted, the couple and their attorneys are interviewed to determine if mediation is appropriate. If not, the cases are referred for evaluation rather than mediation. All mediation is conducted by male-female co-mediation teams, and parties may opt out of mediation without fear of sanctions. (Pearson, 1997). In Honolulu, the Neighborhood Justice Center uses telephone screening interviews. If abuse is identified, the abused partner is referred to a pre-mediation counseling program for further assessment. The assessment center may determine she is able to mediate without additional support; or that she can mediate with the support of an advocate; or she is unable to mediation at that time, in which case she may be provided with counseling or referred to other services (Perry, 1994). Training and Education of Mediators and Family Law Participants It has been stated earlier in this work that those who mediate domestic violence cases must have very special skills, sensitivity and a network of resources. Perry's (1995) review of the literature indicates a high degree of consensus on this point. The need for training and education of all participants in the family law process - lawyers, judges, clerks of court, and mediators - has been argued by Judge Chance and Alison Gerencser (1996). The training requirements for family law participants do not necessarily reflect expertise or skill in recognizing or responding to signs of domestic violence. "Emerging research shows that because of mediators' orientation and training, they do not know how to respond to the signs of violence or threats of violence; thus, they transform them into procedural issues with the consequences that victims' rights are delegitimized." (Fischer, Vidmar & Ellis, 1993). Sara Cobb's analysis of the domestication of violence in mediation clearly illustrates this concept (Cobb, 1997). Mediation professionals are drawn from a wide array of disciplines - law, psychology, social work, education and mental health - and bring with them vastly different perspectives. Family mediators who will work with highly conflicted couples need sufficient training to make them aware of the dynamics of family violence and how to respond to it (Salem & Milne, 1995). Even those who work with couples who "passed" pre-mediation screening and were found to be suitable for mediation may pose issues of power and control that were hidden during preliminary screening. Training and education for domestic violence, therefore, needs to be extended to all family mediators, particularly given our historical societal preference for keeping family matters private. In their review of current policies and practices in mediation and domestic violence, Thoennes, Salem and Pearson (1994) indicate that in programs where mediators receive training in domestic violence issues, they are more likely to ask follow-up screening questions to ensure both safety of parties and integrity of the process. They also noted that programs with heavy caseloads are more likely to have mediators who are trained in domestic violence issues; these trained mediators use special mediation techniques, such as private caucusing, when abuse is identified. (Thoennes, Salem & Pearson, 1994.) Suggested Protocol for Family Mediation Cases A simplified summary of the steps and procedures that should be taken to determine the viability of mediation in all cases of conflicted couples would include the following:
1. Family
Mediators need to be trained in various aspects of
domestic violence
2. Screening
needs to precede mediation. Cases should be categorized
based on the results of screening into three
categories: 3. Process skills and special techniques designed to balance power and create an expectation of cooperation and the mediator should skillfully employ fairness. These techniques could include power-balancing moves, appropriate use of structured and directive questioning and private caucusing.
Mediators Can Cultivate an Understanding of Violence in a Societal Context Mediators need to be sensitive to unconscious attitudes of their own about the strength and dominance of the man and the submissiveness and flexibility of the woman. It is common for mediators to discount violence by reframing it away; it is also common for mediators to expect the woman to change her behavior during abusive episodes. Cobb (1997) analyzed 30 community mediations sessions and found that in 80% of the sessions, mediators "domesticated" the violence stories told by the parties until the violence disappeared. Through the process of transforming complaints into requests, the violence becomes irrelevant and "dehistoricized." Women are constructed by mediators as more able to change their behavior and attitudes; therefore when women ask for agreements from men to stop their abusive behavior, the mediators turn this request back to the woman, asking her "what can you do to change your behavior?" (Cobb, 1997) Family violence is a manifestation of generations of culturally learned behavior and attitudes that place aggression and dominance on par with leadership and success. Galtung (1996) sees violence as either direct, such as killing or inflicting injury, or structural, such as exploitation, repression, and marginalization of individuals or groups. Structural violence is "built into" society and condoned and legitimized through generations of traditions. Examples of ways we have legitimized violence and the male's dominance over the woman are in attitudes such as "the man rules the roost" and "a man's home is his castle". Our society glamorizes the military, which is traditionally male and traditionally violent. Mediators who are dealing with conflicted couples need to be aware of their own feelings about gender roles, power and violence in order to perceive the issues objectively. At a time when feminists are suggesting that mediation keeps the "secret" of domestic violence locked out of public view, each one of us needs to ask how we can, as mediators, be part of the solution to the societal dilemma of domestic violence. References Chance, C.B. & Gerencser, A.E. (1996). Screening family mediation for domestic violence. The Florida Bar Journal, April, 1996, 54 - 57. Charbonneau et. al. (1992). Mediation in cases of domestic abuse: Helpful option or unacceptable risk? The final report of the Domestic Abuse and Mediation Project. Maine Court Mediation Service. Charbonneau, P. (Ed.) (1993). Report from the Toronto Forum on Woman Abuse and Mediation. The Fund for Dispute Resolution, Waterboro, Ontario. Cobb, S. (1997). The domestication of violence in mediation. Law & Society Review, 31, 3 397-440. Dutton, Mary Ann. (1994). The dynamics of domestic violence: Understanding the response from battered women. Florida Bar Journal, 68 24 – 28 Fischer, K., Vidmar, N & Ellis, R. (1993). The culture of battering and the role of mediation in domestic violence cases. SMU Law Review, 46, 5 2117-2174. Galtung, J. (1996). Peace by peaceful means: Peace and conflict, development and civilization. London: Sage Geffner, R. & Pagelow, M.D. (1990). Mediation and child custody issues in abusive relationships. Behavioral Sciences and the Law, 8. 151 – 159 Girdner, L.K. (1990). Mediation triage: Screening for spouse abuse in divorce mediation. Mediation Quarterly, 7. 365 -376. Newmark, L., Harrell, A., & Salem, P. (1994). Domestic violence and empowerment in custody and visitation cases: An empirical study on the impact of domestic abuse. Asssociation of Family and Conciliation Courts, Madison, WI. Pearson, J.(1997). Mediating when domestic violence is a factor: Policies and practices in court-based divorce mediation programs. Mediation Quarterly, 14, 4, 319 - 333. Perry, L. (1994). Mediation and wife abuse: a review of the literature. Mediation Quarterly, 11, 4, 313 - 325. Salem, P. & Milne, A. (1995). Making mediation work in a domestic violence case. Family Advocate, 17 ,3, 34-38 Tolman, R.M. Tolman screening model. Domestic Abuse and Mediation Project. Jane Addams College of Social Work. Chicago: Univ. of Illinois. (limited or internal distribution) Thoennes, N., Salem, P. & Pearson, J. (1994). Mediation and domestic violence: Current policies and practices. Center for Policy Research Denver, CO. and Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, Madison, WI. Warters, B. (1986) Treatment of the male batterer: An overview of the field. Unpublished paper.
Werner, B.L. (1994). Mediator and client communicative behaviors in child- custody mediation. Women and Language, 17, 2 21(9) BiographyAnita Vestal is a flexible idealist in her many life roles: Mediator, Facilitator, Mentor, Researcher, Writer, Teacher and Trainer. Since 1990 she has had a practice in organizational development and mediation with family, workplace, community parties. She has also held positions in Head Start and adult education at various universities in Texas, Florida and Pennsylvania. In addition to teaching and mediating, she provides training, technical assistance and consulting for community organizations, government and educational programs. Anita served in the Peace Corps in Latin America for two years. She was the founding executive director of Child Care Consultants, Inc., in York, PA and was Program Administrator for a statewide migrant Head Start program in Florida. Her education includes a BS in Child and Family Development from Virginia Tech, MBA in Management from Texas Tech University and Ph.D. in Conflict Resolution from Nova Southeastern University. Her research focuses on conflict resolution with young children, mediation, appreciative inquiry, as well as models for systemic peacebuilding. She has published several articles on mediation in child custody, teaching preschoolers to solve their own conflicts, and transformative teacher training. She is a biographee in Who's Who in American Women and Who's Who in America. Website: www.anitavestal.net Additional articles by Anita Vestal |
BECAUSE OF YOU... living w/ the memories of abuse
By Stacey CAn Excerpt from Tornado Warning, A Memoir Of Teen Dating Violence and Its Effect On A Woman's Life
By Elin
Hi,
What started it was the picture I drew of myself. I decided to draw a self portrait, after I literally stared at my reflection for almost thirty minutes.
I pulled the mirror off the wall and put it down on the ground and without really examining myself I just started to draw. It’s when I finished that I was startled enough to stop, put the paper to the side, and stare.
I hardly recognized myself.
Last fall I checked out one of the cameras from school to try
taking pictures. The one thing I noticed back then was looking
through a lens is really different from just looking. The lens is
so small that it forces the one eye to choose what it sees. Then,
with precision, the hand needs to focus the lens so that the
camera actually snaps what you want it to. This is what it was
like for me today looking in the mirror. While I was drawing I
was just part of the reflection but once I put my pencil down and
looked at the drawing, then the captured image all came into
focus.
The girl I drew…I don’t know her. She is worn like leather, joyless, spent, ancient. I forced myself to look at the mirror. The thing of it is…it’s not as if I am frowning and angry. What is scary is I look vacant, gone, dead.
And that’s when it crept into me…he really can’t kill me…well, he could, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is, he actually already has, because he’s killed my spirit. This is what it means to be alone, really alone…because there is not a living soul who I can tell.
I hardly tell myself. He must feel me slipping because he has asked me a million and one times if I really understand he won’t live without me. Now that I know I am dead, how can I care about his life? After all, he is the creator of what I see staring vacantly back at me.
I had to stop. I found a small blanket in the hall closet and covered the mirror. Then I had to leave my room. I was trembling. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a snack, then I mechanically went into the living room and sat down by the huge window that looks down the Mianus River. I drank in the view…all the deciduous trees are bare naked. And that’s when it hit me with full force. All those beautiful trees, they shed everything that makes them gorgeous and they endure the long harsh New England winter and then just when people almost give up hope, they sprout their tiny little buds. A month or so later they have leaves; some have flowers too.
I am 19 and I am the tree. I am almost unrecognizable, yet underneath the twigs and sticks and bark there is a strength. I can feel this strength. I don’t want to be dead among the living. That tree would no sooner refuse to sprout then fall over if I pushed it. Maybe….at the core….maybe I am still here.
So I got up and went back to my room, pulled away the blanket, and sat back down and again gazed into the mirror. My eyes are green…somewhere in the pool of black squarely centered in all that green is a path back to me. If I stare at it long enough maybe just maybe I can see deep inside and find my core, my strength, my light, my spirit. It’s winter but sure as day will turn to night, spring will come.
“I am alive….I am alive…I am me and I am alive.”
Thank you for reading an excerpt from: Tornado
Warning, A Memoir Of Teen Dating Violence and Its Effect On A
Woman's Life
by Elin Stebbins Waldal. To
Learn more about Tornado
Warning please visit my website at Elin Stebbins
Waldal
You may also join the
Tornado Warning Facebook Page too!
Online Training for Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
By Courage Network
Did you know there is online training for
domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy? That's
right, there are several courses being hosted by coalitions and
trusted organizations that provide online training. The
training not only benefits those that are in the day-to-day
trenches of supporting survivors through programs and services,
but some also provide a way for those who are considering getting
into advocacy or have a need to know more information an
opportunity to receive that information in a relaxed and often
learn-at-your-own-pace environment. The online training
ranges from issues like intimate partner violence, danger
assessments, immigration, campus sexual assault, child abuse and
safety just to name a few. Some online training is free and
others are available at a cost or in conjunction with a
membership to a coalition or organization. So take a moment
to visit these resources and see if one of these programs could
further benefit your work or just give you a better opportunity
to learn more about an issue pertaining to violence. The
more we learn about this issue, the better equipped we become to
help others.
Online Training Resources
VAWNET
Training Forums
Intimate Partner Violence Risk Assessment
RAINN training for Crisis Centers and Volunteers
Darkness to Light's Steward of Children curriculum
Family Violence Prevention Fund's Speaking Up May 13, 2010 Vol. 16, Issue 5
By Courage Network
May 13, 2010 Vol. 16, Issue 5Speaking Up is a project of the Family Violence Prevention Fund. Produced by PR Solutions, Inc., Washington, DC. Phone: 202/371 1999; Fax: 202/371 9142; E-mail: speakingup@prsolutionsdc.com. CONGRESS CONSIDERS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN In recent weeks, two congressional committee hearings have examined the causes and consequences of violence against women in the United States and around the world. On May 5, Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) Director Judge Susan Carbon and other experts testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee about the importance of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) during the economic downturn. A few weeks before that, on April 15, Representatives Bill Delahunt (D-MA) and Ted Poe (R-TX) testified before the Tom Lantos Human Rights Commission, urging the U.S. to take action to end violence against women and girls around the world by passing the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA).The Increased Importance of the VAWA in a Time of Economic Crisis At the hearing on VAWA, Committee Chair Patrick Leahy (D-VT) praised the law, but cautioned that there is more work to be done: “The importance of VAWA could not be clearer than it is today as our country copes with a troubled economy. The safety net VAWA has provided survivors over the years is now a lifeline for many. The economic pressures of a lost job, home, or car can add stress to an already abusive relationship. The loss of these resources can make it harder for victims to escape a violent situation. And just as victims’ needs are growing, state budget cuts are resulting in fewer available services, including emergency shelters, transitional housing, counseling, and child care.” Judge Carbon commended the Obama Administration for funneling stimulus funds to programs that serve victims of domestic, sexual and dating violence and stalking because these funds fill “critical gaps in services.” But she also cautioned that there is still great unmet need for services and supports. “As we think about reauthorization of VAWA, we must fully incorporate prevention as an essential strategy to ending violence against women,” she testified. Other witnesses included Auburn L. Watersong of the Vermont Network Against Domestic and Sexual Violence; Lolita Ulloa with the Hennepin County Attorney's Office in Minneapolis; and Richard Gelles, Dean of the School of Social Policy & Practice at the University of Pennsylvania. Watersong focused on the importance of economic sustainability for victims of violence. “Many VAWA programs contribute to the overall economic sustainability of victims and play a crucial part in victims’ long-term safety and self-sufficiency,” she said. Ulloa focused on ways that VAWA has benefited victims of violence in the legal system. “When Congress passed VAWA, there was finally federal recognition that crimes of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking would not be tolerated any longer,” she testified. “As a result, there has been a shift in how violence against women is addressed in the criminal justice offices, and also in how it is viewed in the community. Funding criminal justice offices remains, I believe, a critical need – especially when criminal justice offices forge partnerships with community battered women’s programs and social services.” Gelles testified that VAWA is “likely to have played a role” in decreasing the rates of domestic violence. The most recent federal data available, which predates the economic downturn, show that rates of domestic violence have decreased by about half since 1993, he said. That mirrors the overall drop in violent crime during the same time period. Gelles recommended that Congress make “funding more effective” when reauthorizing VAWA. Senators Al Franken (D-MN), Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) and Jeff Sessions (R-AL) also questioned witnesses on issues ranging from the backlog of rape kits, to the needs of victims of violence who live in rural communities, to the programs that work best in ensuring that victims are able to get legal assistance. To watch a webcast or read testimony from the “The Increased Importance of the Violence Against Women Act in a Time of Economic Crisis” hearing, click here. Violence Against Women: Strategies and Responses At the April hearing, Representatives Delahunt and Poe testified that violence against women is a serious human rights violation. Around the world, women and girls are systematically targeted in armed conflicts, communal violence and cultural practices, in the workplace and at home. Representative Delahunt made a powerful case that the United States has made progress in decreasing rates of violence at home, and should build on that success with I-VAWA. “There is no reason this can’t be replicated internationally,” he said. “The time to act is now.” Representative Poe answered critics who question allocating funds for international work, when domestic budgets are stretched thin. “Despite the fiscal concerns, the United States should be at the forefront of the fight for human rights, because human rights is our business,” he said. “The international crime of violence against women should end and the U.S. should be the leader.” Ambassador Stephen Rapp of the Office of War Crimes Issues; Dr. Lydia Mungherera, founder of Mama’s Club in Uganda; Humaira Shahid of Pakistan, former member of the Punjab Provincial Assembly; Retired Major General Patrick Cammaert, former United Nations Force Commander; and Gary Barker, Ph.D., Director of Gender, Violence and Rights at the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) also testified. Ambassador Rapp discussed the horrors that women living in combat areas experience. He called violence against women, “the major if not dominant tactic of war” and said that “in some parts of the world it is more dangerous to be a woman than an armed combatant.” Retired Major General Patrick Cammaert echoed this and focused his testimony on the role of sexual violence in conflict. He called sexual violence a “security issue” because it tears apart families, undermines stability and prolongs conflict when women aren’t a part of the peace process and perpetrators aren’t punished. Dr. Lydia Mungherera addressed the intersection of violence against women and girls and HIV/AIDS. Women who are in violent relationships are unable to negotiate safe sex practices and can be prevented from seeking health services, she said, commending I-VAWA’s comprehensive approach to addressing violence in HIV/AIDS prevention. “Women and girls cannot wait another year or another political cycle…I-VAWA must be passed,” she added. Gary Barker with ICRW emphasized the role of men and boys in addressing violence against women: “We are finding men who don’t believe in violence” and evidence of programs that work. He said I-VAWA would build on effective programs and cited the Family Violence Prevention Fund and ICRW’s work to change attitudes and culture norms in India through cricket. Learn more about the Parivartan and Coaching Boys into Men here. In addition to Co-Chair James P. McGovern (D-MA), Representatives Anh “Joseph” Cao (R-LA), Donna Edwards (D-MD), Janice Schakowsky (D-IL) and Christopher Smith (R-NJ) attended the hearing. The United Nations Development Fund for Women estimates that one of every three women globally will be beaten, raped, or otherwise abused during her lifetime. A 2005 World Health Organization study found that of 15 sites in ten countries – representing diverse cultural settings – the proportion of ever-partnered women who had experienced physical or sexual intimate partner violence in their lifetime ranged from 15 percent in Japan to 71 percent in Ethiopia. As of today, I-VAWA has 95 co-sponsors in the House of Representatives and 29 in the Senate. Click here to send a message to your Senator or Representative and encourage him/her to co-sponsor I-VAWA. ****************** IN THEIR OWN WORDS AT THE RECENT HEARINGS “In some countries women are met with violence simply because they want to go to school, work to support their families or marry a man of their choosing. This must change.” ---U.S. Representative and Co-Chair of the Tom Lantos Human Rights Commission James McGovern (D-MA), “Violence Against Women Strategies and Responses,” April 15, 2010 “It is socially unacceptable and criminally responsible to treat women and girls like property.” ---U.S. Representative Ted Poe (R-TX), “Violence Against Women Strategies and Responses,” April 15, 2010 “I hope our colleagues will join us in supporting the International Violence Against Women Act. This isn’t a partisan issue, or a women’s issue. It is a human rights issue.” ---U.S. Representative Bill Delahunt (D-MA), “Violence Against Women Strategies and Responses,” April 15, 2010 “Violence against women is a destabilizing factor around the world and this violence impacts us.” ---U.S. Representative Jan Schakowsky (D-IL), “Violence Against Women Strategies and Responses,” April 15, 2010 “When women are able to live a life without violence, they can build strong communities and families.” ---U.S. Representative Donna Edwards (D-MD), “Violence Against Women Strategies and Responses,” April 15, 2010 “While I fully recognize that tough decisions need to be made about spending federal dollars in the current economic climate, federal investment in protecting women and children from domestic violence is especially necessary at times like this. It is no secret that domestic violence becomes more pervasive in times of economic distress.” ---U.S. Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) in a statement, “The Increased Importance of the Violence Against Women Act in a Time of Economic Crisis,” May 5, 2010 “I am really pleased to work with my colleagues to get VAWA [Violence Against Women Act] reauthorized. Although an economic crisis does not cause domestic violence…I have concerns that the current economic downturn affects violence.” ---U.S. Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT), “The Increased Importance of the Violence Against Women Act in a Time of Economic Crisis,” May 5, 2010 ****************** OUTREACH – TIME TO ACT ON JJDPA Now that Congress has passed health care reform, it’s time to urge Members to turn their attention to other crucial issues that affect our health and safety, including the Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act (JJDPA). It’s time for violence prevention advocates to speak out and tell Congress to make juvenile justice reform a priority this year and help youth who have been exposed to violence! The JJDPA was first enacted in 1974. It provides federal funding to states that comply with a set of best practices aimed at avoiding the detention and incarceration of young people in juvenile and adult facilities. However, this law is three years overdue for reauthorization! The Senate Judiciary Committee has approved a JJDPA reauthorization bill (S. 678) but the full Senate has yet to act. The House of Representatives Education & Labor Committee has held hearings, but they have not yet moved reauthorization legislation. This reauthorization marks an important opportunity to more adequately address the needs of young women who have experienced violence and trauma. Nationally, studies show that a history of sexual victimization and physical abuse is one of the most commonly shared attributes of girls in the juvenile justice system. According to The Brookings Institute, 92 percent of incarcerated young women are victims of abuse. In fact, often a young woman’s contact with the criminal justice system is a result of behaviors she adapted to overcome poverty, racism and abuse. For the first time ever, the this reauthorization could mean that JJDPA addresses the specific needs of girls who have been exposed to domestic and dating violence, sexual assault and stalking. If you agree that it we should develop gender-specific services that include prevention, intervention, education and awareness-raising about domestic and dating violence and sexual assault for young women in the juvenile justice system, and develop effective juvenile justice programs such as alternatives to detention and incarceration, contact your Representative now and urge him/her to introduce and move a bill in the House this year! Here’s how you can help: • Meet: Ask for a meeting with your representatives in the House and Senate to discuss the JJDPA; • Write a Letter: If you are not able to get a meeting scheduled, send a letter to your Members of Congress to support JJDPA reauthorization. Sample materials can be found here; • Join: Join the Act 4 Juvenile Justice campaign Fan page on Facebook here; • Share: Spread the word with your friends and share this Action Alert! For additional information including sample letters, click here. ****************** OHIO TEEN WINS NATIONAL THAT’S NOT COOL CONTEST Lara Beck, a junior at Washington High School in Massillon, Ohio, has been named the winner of a national contest to design a new “Callout Card” – a brief, creative message in “teen speak” that raises awareness about preventing digital dating abuse. The contest is part of the That’s Not Cool campaign, a national public service awareness effort designed to help teens recognize digital dating abuse and take steps to prevent it. The contest was sponsored by the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) and the National Football League Players Association (NFLPA). As the Grand Prize winner, Lara attended and walked the red carpet at the NFL PLAYERS Gala in Washington, D.C., which honors players for their commitment to team, family and community, in April. The FVPF, Advertising Council and R/GA launched That’s Not Cool last year. Each month the campaign generates nearly 70,000 website visitors, and thousands of those teens send That’s Not Cool Callout Cards (e-cards with a brief message like the one Lara created) to their friends and dating partners. “I’m so excited that I won this contest and that I get to go to the NFL PLAYERS Gala,” 16-year-old Beck said. “Dating violence is a serious issue and I designed a Callout Card to convey, in a straightforward way, that teens who are in bad or dangerous relationships should get help and get out.” Digital communication is central to teens’ lives and relationships. With these new technologies come the risk of digital dating abuse, which includes unwanted, repeated calls or text messages; hacking into e-mail; spying on social networking accounts; or being pressured to send private or embarrassing pictures or videos. “Our That’s Not Cool campaign has reached thousands and thousands of teens like Lara, all across the country, helping them recognize that controlling behavior can cross the line and become abuse,” said FVPF President Esta Soler. “We are delighted with Lara’s powerful and creative entry, and so proud that she is representing the campaign at the NFL PLAYERS Gala. Her Callout Card will help start conversations about textual harassment and digital abuse, give teens the tools to recognize and talk about it, and encourage them to define what is and isn’t okay.” “Our organization and the players we serve understand the importance of education and prevention as it relates to dating violence,” said Teri Patterson, NFLPA Special Counsel to the Executive Director. The four runners-up, Liz Burton from Melrose, MA, Andrea Hovetter from Carlisle, PA, Madeline Rauch from Lexington, SC and Thadeus Bradley from Whitesburg, GA each received autographed NFL memorabilia. Honorable mention winners received That’s Not Cool t-shirts and NFLPA hats. Teens age 13 to 18 were eligible to enter the contest. The FVPF received entries from teens all around the country. According to Technology and Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007 (conducted by Teen Research Unlimited and Liz Claiborne), one in three teens say they have been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. One in four teens in a relationship have been called disparaging names, harassed or put down by a partner through cell phones and texting. More than half of teen girls (51 percent) say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images, and 18 percent of teen boys say pressure from a girl is a reason (Sex and Tech Survey, conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 2008). That’s Not Cool includes an interactive website at www.ThatsNotCool.com, mobile phone component, television, radio, posters in schools and malls, and online ads all designed to help youth recognize digital dating abuse and give them tools to avoid it. On the site teens can find resources to “draw their own digital line” and a forum to discuss this form of abuse and seek help. That’s Not Cool is supported by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office on Violence against Women. ****************** HUMAN RIGHTS LEADER PASSES Rhonda Copelon, a human rights attorney and City University of New York (CUNY) School of Law professor who helped convince United States federal courts and key international tribunals to recognize gender-based violence and international human rights violations as illegal forms of torture, has died of ovarian cancer. During her 40-year career, Copelon worked on a range of legal cases involving gender-based violence, racial discrimination, government wiretapping, employment discrimination, and women’s reproductive rights. “Rhonda Copelon was a passionate and powerful legal advocate for victims of gender-based violence in the United States and around the world,” said Family Violence Prevention Fund President Esta Soler. “She dedicated her life to helping women who suffered human rights violations. It would be impossible to overstate her impact on how courts deal with these atrocious crimes. She was an inspiration to so many of us. We feel this loss deeply and pledge to continue Rhonda’s tireless work.” Copelon co-founded the CUNY Law School’s International Women’s Human Rights Clinic (IWHR). Under her leadership, the clinic enabled students and activists to participate in a range of precedent-setting legal and advocacy campaigns. Working with these students, she filed briefs before the International Criminal Tribunals for Rwanda and the former Yugoslavia that contributed to recognition in international law that rape is a crime of genocide and torture. Copelon told The New York Times in 2002 that, until then, “rape was considered a kind of collateral damage” and “seen as part of the unpreventable, fundamental culture of war.” IWHR’s work with the United Nation’s Committee against Torture and other international bodies contributed to worldwide recognition that gender crimes, including domestic and other forms of violence, can constitute torture under the United Nation’s Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman, or Degrading Treatment or Punishment. Copelon was born in New Haven, Connecticut in 1944. She graduated from Bryn Mawr with a degree in history and political science, and received her law degree from Yale. For more information on Rhonda Copelon’s life and legacy, click here. ****************** FURTHER EVIDENCE OF LINK BETWEEN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & REPRODUCTIVE COERCION/CONTROL Reproductive control – when a partner imposes his reproductive intentions through intimidation, threats or actual violence – is a common problem for women who experience intimate partner violence, according to a new study released by the Guttmacher Institute on April 6. Three in four respondents (74 percent) in the new study – of 71 domestic violence victims seeking services at a family planning clinic, an abortion clinic and a domestic violence shelter – reported that their partners had threatened to get them pregnant, forced them to have unprotected sex, sabotaged or interfered with their contraception, threatened them with sexual intercourse, tried to control the outcome of their pregnancies if they became pregnant, or in other ways tried to coerce their reproductive outcomes. These abusive behaviors can lead to unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and a host of other problems. “This study adds to the growing body of evidence that partner violence often includes reproductive coercion and control, which can lead to unplanned pregnancy,” said Family Violence Prevention Fund President Esta Soler. “We make a mistake by putting these issues in silos and promoting solutions that ignore the connection. If we are serious about stopping unplanned pregnancy in this country, we simply must address the sexual violence and reproductive control that often cause it. If we are serious about stopping dating and domestic violence, we must recognize that many victims grapple daily with sexual violence and reproductive coercion. And if we are serious about improving women’s health, we must address the violence that too many young women experience.” The authors of “Male Reproductive Control of Women Who Have Experienced Intimate Partner Violence in the United States,” conducted in-depth interviews with 71 women aged 18–49 who had a history of intimate partner violence; they were recruited in 2007 from a domestic violence shelter, a freestanding abortion clinic and a family planning clinic providing a full range of reproductive health services. “We believe that reproductive control is, itself, a form of intimate partner violence, and one worthy of public health attention,” said Ann Moore, senior research associate at the Guttmacher Institute and one of the study’s authors. The study recommends that providers assess their patients in order to identify women who may need to hide their contraceptives from their partner, conduct prenatal care and abortion counseling in private, and ask questions designed to ascertain if anyone is pressuring the woman either to terminate or continue the pregnancy. The FVPF’s ‘Know More, Say More’ initiative, which examines the consequences of reproductive coercion and violence, is online at www.KnowMoreSayMore.org. For tools on how to assess and respond to violence and coercion, click here. “Male Reproductive Control of Women Who Have Experienced Intimate Partner Violence in the United States” is available online. It will be published in a forthcoming issue of Social Science & Medicine. ******************** ROUND-UP OF NEW STATE LAWS State legislatures around the country are wrapping up legislative sessions and sending bills to governors to be signed. This year states have passed many bills address dating, domestic and sexual violence. The following are some of the new laws. Colorado Governor Bill Ritter signed Senate Bill 80 on April 12. The new law fills a gap between civil and criminal law to include family pets under Colorado’s protection orders. Representative Jerry Frangas, one of the new law’s chief sponsors, said “By legally protecting animals, we decrease the use of a common manipulative tactic used by domestic violence abusers in the coercion of his/her partner. For many of us, pets are part of our families, and clarifying the law to protect them makes sense and is the right thing to do.” Indiana On April 12, Governor Mitch Daniels hosted a ceremonial signing of “Heather’s Law,” which requires the Indiana Department of Education to develop teen dating violence educational materials and model dating violence response and reporting policies. “Heather’s Law” is named after Heather Norris, who was killed by her estranged high school boyfriend in 2007. After Heather’s death, her mother, Debbie Norris, created a website www.heathersvoice.net and began advocating for Indiana to adopt a dating violence law. Iowa Governor Chet Culver signed legislation on March 22 that will help protect Iowa families by taking guns out of the hands of abusers. Senate File 2357 prohibits a person who has been convicted of a domestic abuse crime, or is subject to a permanent civil protection order, from possessing firearms or other offensive weapons. “It is our duty to do whatever we can to keep Iowa families safe, and this common-sense legislation provides an important tool to do so,” Governor Culver said. “I am proud to sign this bill in the name of all who have suffered at the hands of domestic abusers, and in the memory of all who have sadly lost their lives.” Kentucky On April 14, the Kentucky General Assembly and Senate passed “Amanda’s Bill” a measure that would allow authorities to attach GPS monitors to suspected abusers who have violated domestic violence orders. The bill is named after Amanda Ross, who was murdered outside her home last year; former State Representative Steve Nunn has been arrested and charged in her killing. Governor Steve Beshear called for lawmakers to pass the measure in his State of the Commonwealth address in January and signed the legislation on April 28. New Hampshire Governor John Lynch signed legislation making attempted strangulation a felony on May 4. The bill (HB 1634) quickly moved through the state legislature after the story of Melissa Cantin Charbonneau made headlines last November. Cantin Charbonneau was shot to death by her husband two days after he was arrested for choking her and released on $30 bail, the Manchester Union Leader reports. The new law will make strangulation a second-degree assault, which is a felony that can carry prison time. It takes effect on January 1. New York In April, Governor David Paterson signed a law allowing victims of domestic violence to cast special ballots in an election if they leave their residence because of domestic violence. Earlier this month, Governor Paterson signed a law that authorizes courts to order that voter registration records of victims of domestic violence be kept confidential in certain cases. ******************** IN THE NEWS NATIONAL – The United States will have its human rights record judged by the United Nations Human Rights Council this fall. “Human rights are universal, but their experience is local. That is why we are committed to holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told the Washington Post. Some argue that the commission has been overrun by human rights violators like China, Cuba and Egypt and the United States should not participate, but the Obama Administration counters that the U.S. will be in a stronger position to critique human rights violators if we complete the “universal periodic review” process. Each of the 192 United Nations member countries is supposed to go through the review process every four years. AK – Governor Sean Parnell is heading up a new campaign that calls on Alaskans not to stand by when they see or suspect domestic violence, and to make it a social norm that it is everyone’s business to report and stop such acts. The new “Choose Respect” campaign is in response to Alaska’s high rates of domestic and sexual assault. “Our violence and assault stats will plunge when Alaska men in every corner and every culture in the state think about what it means to truly be a man,” the Anchorage Daily News editorialized. DC – On Mother’s Day, mothers from across the United States and advocates for abused children gathered in front of the White House for a silent vigil to draw attention to the fact that family courts ordered them to give full custody or unsupervised visitation to their abusers. “We decided that Mother’s Day was the perfect time to stand vigil in front of the White House with mothers from all over America whose children are either dead or living in harm’s way because of the broken family court system,” said Connie Valentine, vigil organizer and co-founder of the California Protective Parent’s Association. DC – American University’s student newspaper is apologizing for publishing a March 30 column that called date rape an “incoherent concept” and said that any woman who attends a fraternity party, has five drinks and goes back to a man’s room is “indicating she wants sex” and should not “cry ‘date rape.’” Students were outraged after sophomore Alex Knepper published the column. A day after it was published, Knepper told the Washington Post that he enjoyed “stirring the pot” and doesn’t “mind being hated for his views.” In response to students’ protests, The Eagle’s editors are organizing a forum on the issue. They also announced that Knepper will be required to follow a stricter set of guidelines to ensure that his arguments are coherent and reasonable. FL – Two judges in Sarasota County have created a controversial new policy that requires domestic violence victims to contact police before they grant them a restraining order, reports the Sarasota Herald Tribune. The victims also would be ordered to pursue criminal prosecution as a part of the civil court process. Violence prevention advocates fear that this requirement could discourage victims from seeking protective orders. Circuit Judges Robert McDonald and Andrew Owens countered that they’ve ordered dozens of petitioners to report their allegations to law enforcement, but haven’t imposed any sanctions on victims unwilling to do so. IL – The man charged with spying on ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison last month. At the sentencing Andrews said, “You violated me and you violated all women… you are a sexual predator, a sexual deviant and they should lock you up.” Michael David Barrett pled guilty last December to interstate stalking after prosecutors accused him of following Andrews to at least three cities and filming her through hotel peepholes. The footage is still posted on the Internet. KY – As part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the Louisville Metro Criminal Justice Commission has been awarded $170,000 to develop a system to issue emergency protection orders electronically. In the current system, protection orders must be physically delivered to judges for approval, returned to the domestic-violence intake center, and then a sheriff’s deputy has to pick them up and serve them. The process can take a few days. The new system will allow the orders to be processed in a matter of hours and served the same day, the Courier-Journal reports. The program is expected to start in February 2011. MD – A Baltimore County judge was suspended from hearing cases last month after he presided over the marriage of an alleged domestic assault victim and her accused attacker. Frederick Wood was charged with assaulting his fiancée in November. The assault case came to trial on March 10 and District Judge G. Darrell Russell Jr. allowed Wood a recess to obtain a marriage license. Another judge who had no knowledge of the charges against Wood waived the 48-hour waiting period for the marriage. When Wood returned to the courtroom, Judge Russell married him. Wood’s new wife invoked marital privilege so she would not be forced to testify against her new husband. Wood was then found not guilty. The House of Ruth Maryland and the Women’s Law Center of Maryland have filed a complaint with a state panel that disciplines judges, the Baltimore Sun reports. MN – The St. Paul Pioneer Press reported earlier this month that the police department has launched the “St. Paul Blueprint for Safety” – a new approach so that all parts of the criminal justice system will work together on domestic violence crimes. The “Blueprint” calls for everyone involved, from the 911 operator to judges, to assess for signs of danger. Patrol officers are being trained to ask three key questions: Do you think he/she will seriously injure you or your children? When were you hurt or most afraid? And how frequent is the violence and is the frequency changing? The Minnesota legislature appropriated half a million dollars in 2007 to St. Paul to write a comprehensive plan and a more general guide that other cities could customize. OH – Last month, Cuyahoga Juvenile Court Judge Alison Floyd ordered teenage rape victims to take polygraph tests even after finding their accusers delinquent, which is the juvenile court equivalent of guilty. Cleveland Plain Dealer columnist Regina Brett called the case “unbelievable,” and wrote “The federal Violence Against Women Act of 2005 prohibits forcing a rape victim to take a lie detector test.” Judge Floyd has not commented on the case or her motives for ordering the polygraph are unclear. MALAYSIA – Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno was sentenced last July to caning after being caught drinking beer at a beach restaurant by the morality police. In April, the state’s sultan commuted her sentence to three weeks of community service, the Associated Press reports. Human rights activists had been protesting her punishment, and many in Malaysia say that Islamic laws should not intrude in personal matters in the country, which is known as a moderate and progressive Islamic society. YEMEN – In late March, hundreds of women protested in support of a bill to ban the marriage of girls under age 17. Some of the country’s most influential Islamic leaders oppose the legislation and it is putting the government’s ruling party in a delicate position, the Christian Science Monitor reports. The government fears being branded “un-Islamic” or “full of infidels.” Child marriage is widespread in Yemen, especially in rural areas. A decision is expected this month. ******************** SAVE THE DATE May 24-26, 2010, Richland, WA Hand in Hand through a Lifetime The Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs annual conference will be held at the Red Lion Hotel Richland Hanford House. Olga Trujillo is the featured keynote speaker. A pre-conference institute (on May 24) addressing issues involving children with sexual behavior problems will be offered. For more information, contact Grant Stancliff at grant@wcsap.org or 360-754-7583 or visit the website. July 21-23, 2010, Washington, DC From Theory to Practice Men Can Stop Rape’s most comprehensive Strength Training – From Theory to Practice – has provided more than 9,000 professionals with the skills to engage men in the prevention of dating violence and sexual assault. Learn how to build individual, organizational and community capacity for prevention of violence against women and how to approach primary violence prevention from a public health perspective at this event. Men Can Stop Rape’s approach is based on the social ecological model, advocated by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. For more information and to register, click here. August 1-4, 2010, Anaheim, CA Changing Faces of the Movement The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is holding its 14th National Conference on Domestic Violence: Changing Faces of the Movement at the Hilton Anaheim. Advocates are encouraged to join hundreds of domestic violence survivors and other allies for critical discussions, networking and vital information aimed at providing services and support for victims of domestic violence. The discounted registration rate has been extended until May 25. For more information about attending the conference or presenting a workshop, click here. September 1-3, 2010, Los Angeles, CA 2010 National Sexual Assault Conference The California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA) is hosting the 2010 National Sexual Assault Conference in Los Angeles. CALCASA is asking participants at this educational conference to imagine the world in which they want to live – a world free of sexual violence. CALCASA will create space for attendees to share public service announcements (PSAs), and will show PSAs developed by agencies and organizations across the country. For more information about submitting your organization’s PSA, click here. For more information about the conference, click here. October 14-16, 2010, Tacoma, WA Paving a Rocky Road: Removing Barriers to Men’s Engagement Pacific Lutheran University Men Against Violence will host a national conference to engage professionals, religious communities and student activists in the process of identifying and strategizing how to remove the barriers that have traditionally kept large numbers of men from joining violence prevention efforts. Experts will discuss innovative approaches to anti-violence work and how to empower men to explore masculinities which support a just and equitable society. For more information or to submit a workshop proposal, contact Jonathan Grove at grovejk@plu.edu. Does your organization sponsor a conference that you would like to highlight in Speaking Up? If so, please let us know about it! Send conference information to Speaking Upeditor Luci Manning via email: speakingup@prsolutionsdc.com, or via fax: 202/371-9142. Be sure to include the registration deadline! |
Telling Amy's Story
By Courage Network
The other night I had the opportunity
to attend the official screening of Telling Amy's
Story, a documentary that was created by PennState Public
Broadcasting with funding cooperation from the Verizon
Foundation. The documentary recounts the years of
events in a timeline
leading up
to the tragic murder of a domestic violence victim named Amy.
I will not give the movie away but it lets the viewers know how
many times family and friends tried to intervene, how the criminal
and judicial system triumphed and also failed in helping Amy and
how Amy tried to fight for her own safety. Though Amy's death
occurred several years ago, unfortunately much of what occurred
during her life is still happening today to victims all across the
U.S.Walking away from the film gave me a few perspectives that I want to share. First, it gave me hope because now we have a progressive, instrumental media tool that can be used to show the reality of what victims are going through today. Second, it serves as a great resource for organizations and communities across the U.S. to see what they can do to better serve victims. If you have not watched the trailer, you can do so at http://telling.psu.edu/.
Please encourage your local PBS station to bring this awareness documentary to your city or town. Also look at ways to bring model programming to your community to help victims if none currently exist. Telling Amy's Story is a movie that is not just about a woman named Amy, it's a story about a woman, man or child with any given name, any race, any background who is affected by domestic violence.
Control.Assault.Delete
By Linda
FIx the Hurt is pleased to announce a new and powerful
play entitled, "Control.Assault.Delete", a dating and domestic
violence primer.

