Empowerment - The Choice Is Yours
Domestic violence is a dark, dirty
secret that many people do not want to talk about. Between
the victimizer and the victim, there lies the secrets of
abuse. For the abuser they're secrets because he or she does
not want anyone to find out their true nature. For the abused
it is shame, the shame of being humiliated and treated with less
than respect, and perhaps that somehow it's their fault.
When I created Courage Network one thing that came to mind was empowerment, increasing ones strength or confidence to be able to stand. I realized that secrets can disable you and make you feel unempowered, and I wanted to help others be empowered. Victims are often weakened by the secrets of abuse, survivors are often plagued with awful memories of abuse. We have to choose, however, to be empowered. No one else can do it for us. Even if the abuser chooses to stop abusing that does not stop the scars that abuse leaves. We must choose empowerment!
Here are some things that I have found to be helpful to empower myself and to stay vigilent as a survivor of abuse:
Understand Who You Are
Abuse has a way of stripping your very being and transforming your mind, body and spirit in ways you could never imagine. Deal with your doubts and what you believe are your limitations. Remember abuse is like a wound, it heals but may also leave a scar. The good thing is the person who is wounded is still there. So you can still laugh again, you can still be joyful again, you can still love again. Start doing those things that you used to do that brought you happiness, even those things that abuse may have taken you away from. It could be practicing an art, reading your favorite kinds of books, playing a sport with friends or just making yourself look physically attractive again.
Educate Yourself
Understand what has happened to you, the different forms of domestic violence and even what causes people to abuse. This may take sometime and may require therapy or counseling but doing this can be life transforming in helping you regain your strength if you will allow it to. Look up resources on the issue and find a support group for yourself. You will find that you are not alone and there are others out there who have faced similar and maybe worse circumstances.
Help Someone Else
Make yourself stronger by helping someone else. It could be in the way of publishing a blog on abuse, working with a support group to help other victims or volunteering with a non-profit that helps those who are abused. Often those who are abused can find it easy to get back into the same abusive situation they came from so to help ensure that you remain empowered work to empower others. There is a woman, man or young person that can benefit from seeing your strength in order to be strengthened.
Stay Vigilant, Healthy and Have Faith
It is very easy to live negatively with the past. You may doubt yourself at times and think back on the abuse in that you question what you could have done to cause it, even what you could have done to have made the other person change and be better to you. When this happens remember, it is not your fault and what is most important is that you deal with who you are now and remain constant in how you manage your life. Take care of your entire being: mind, body and spirit. Try to eat right, exercise, enjoy the outdoors and have quiet time where you reflect, pray or meditate. Enjoy time with people you love and who will treat you with respect and support you. Try to be hopeful each day of your life.
The path of empowerment is a wonderful journey that you won't regret taking. It does take time and constant tweeking but one day you will wake up and find a big huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Maybe you are someone who has had that weight lifted or at least working on it. What are some ways that you have empowered yourself in your journey to empowerment?
------------------
This article may be reposted on your website or blog with the following information: Written by Lyn Twyman, the Founder of Courage Network, an online community and resource for domestic violence survivors, advocates, professionals and organizations. For more information please visit www.couragenetwork.com
When I created Courage Network one thing that came to mind was empowerment, increasing ones strength or confidence to be able to stand. I realized that secrets can disable you and make you feel unempowered, and I wanted to help others be empowered. Victims are often weakened by the secrets of abuse, survivors are often plagued with awful memories of abuse. We have to choose, however, to be empowered. No one else can do it for us. Even if the abuser chooses to stop abusing that does not stop the scars that abuse leaves. We must choose empowerment!
Here are some things that I have found to be helpful to empower myself and to stay vigilent as a survivor of abuse:
Understand Who You Are
Abuse has a way of stripping your very being and transforming your mind, body and spirit in ways you could never imagine. Deal with your doubts and what you believe are your limitations. Remember abuse is like a wound, it heals but may also leave a scar. The good thing is the person who is wounded is still there. So you can still laugh again, you can still be joyful again, you can still love again. Start doing those things that you used to do that brought you happiness, even those things that abuse may have taken you away from. It could be practicing an art, reading your favorite kinds of books, playing a sport with friends or just making yourself look physically attractive again.
Educate Yourself
Understand what has happened to you, the different forms of domestic violence and even what causes people to abuse. This may take sometime and may require therapy or counseling but doing this can be life transforming in helping you regain your strength if you will allow it to. Look up resources on the issue and find a support group for yourself. You will find that you are not alone and there are others out there who have faced similar and maybe worse circumstances.
Help Someone Else
Make yourself stronger by helping someone else. It could be in the way of publishing a blog on abuse, working with a support group to help other victims or volunteering with a non-profit that helps those who are abused. Often those who are abused can find it easy to get back into the same abusive situation they came from so to help ensure that you remain empowered work to empower others. There is a woman, man or young person that can benefit from seeing your strength in order to be strengthened.
Stay Vigilant, Healthy and Have Faith
It is very easy to live negatively with the past. You may doubt yourself at times and think back on the abuse in that you question what you could have done to cause it, even what you could have done to have made the other person change and be better to you. When this happens remember, it is not your fault and what is most important is that you deal with who you are now and remain constant in how you manage your life. Take care of your entire being: mind, body and spirit. Try to eat right, exercise, enjoy the outdoors and have quiet time where you reflect, pray or meditate. Enjoy time with people you love and who will treat you with respect and support you. Try to be hopeful each day of your life.
The path of empowerment is a wonderful journey that you won't regret taking. It does take time and constant tweeking but one day you will wake up and find a big huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Maybe you are someone who has had that weight lifted or at least working on it. What are some ways that you have empowered yourself in your journey to empowerment?
------------------
This article may be reposted on your website or blog with the following information: Written by Lyn Twyman, the Founder of Courage Network, an online community and resource for domestic violence survivors, advocates, professionals and organizations. For more information please visit www.couragenetwork.com
0 Comments
Click here to sign up now.