Strength to Persevere
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by Lyn Twyman Lisa  met
John about 15 years ago.
He was charming, loving and even after
over
a
year of
dating they still
lived a part. John respected her in every way. "I
thought he
was
'It' for me…you're so in
love and you ignore the tell tale signs," explains
Lisa, "I also grew
up in a home where domestic violence was present.
John had proposed to me a few times but would never mean
it, like it was a joke or a game."
The signs
later became noticeable, "It started with verbal
abuse. He would say 'You're not good
enough. You should change jobs. Work somewhere
else. Make more money'. There was no pleasing
him." John grew abusive.
Lisa and John
would occasionally go out with his friends.
John would drink
and become loud,
obnoxious
and increasingly abusive toward Lisa in
public. Friends would ask him to leave her
alone but that was not enough to convince him stop.
During one of these outings, John began
degrading Lisa
again in front of his friends.
Lisa
had decided enough was enough and
defended herself by speaking
up. John  became
so enraged at Lisa that he took her by the chin, picking
her up off the floor, digging his fingernails into her
cheeks until she began to bleed. John's
friends tried to stop him and pleaded with Lisa to leave
but she did not. John later told family and friends
that Lisa's injuries came
from boxes and
a filing cabinet that fell on her. Yet another
violent episode with John
left Lisa with a displaced jaw and missing teeth.
John again would
tell family and friends that this too resulted from
another accident.Lisa visited John's father after this last episode of violence to get his help with money that belonged to her that John had been controlling. He looked at Lisa and saw the lingering deformities from her injuries on her face. His conscious ate at him. "He looks into my eyes and tells me 'I thought things would be different.' " Different what do you mean?" Lisa recalls her asking him. There Lisa learned from John's father that John had abused his last girlfriend for 13 years. That is when Lisa's tears began to fall and they both cried together. By that time, Lisa and John had been together for 7 years. She knew without any doubt that her relationship was more than unhealthy, it would get her killed and she needed to get out. One day while John was at work she rented a moving truck and began packing. "John's best friend walked in and saw I was in the process of trying to get everything out of our home and says 'What took you so long?' and he helped me packed." Lisa left that night with the moving truck and all her possessions, but not before John got back home from work to witness her leaving. It was not until several weeks later, Lisa found out she was pregnant with their baby. Uncertain and scared, she went back to John but the growing baby inside her did not stop John and the violence continued, "He threw me across the room and even put me out in  the
hall naked," Lisa recounts. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde, John's moods would change even regarding theunborn child they were having. One minute he was excited and expressed joy then within seconds, he would pick up the phone and threaten Lisa to abort the baby, that having the baby would mess up her life even giving ultimatums to get rid of it or else... Five months later Lisa packed her bags and left again, this time not only for her safety but for that of her unborn child. Lisa gave birth to a beautiful girl after she finally left John. "I went to stay at a friend's house I thought he didn't know about and he found us so that's when I went to live in a shelter." But even the shelter posed another dilemma, "They would not allow us (the residence) to work yet gave us 3 months to get ourselves together to find work and housing. It's a catch 22, you can't get huone without the other. I saw a few other residents fail to do so and they were sent to emergency homeless shelter. Emergency shelter also was not an option because they make you leave during the day and you can only sleep there at night in an open room with cots." Lisa and her daughter has also moved 16 times in 10 years because of stalking, harassments and threats from her ex. Despite the struggles that Lisa and her daughter have faced to just have their basic needs met like housing, transportation, stability and safety, they continue to rebuild their lives.  Furthermore, Lisa has realized a dream. Lisa, a former model, loved being in front of the camera but also loves being behind it. She has been accepted into one of the most prestigious colleges for photography, the Hallmark Institute. GreenNote.com is a fiscal sponsor who is collecting donations on her behalf to raise tuition so she can attend Hallmark this fall of September 2010. To view Lisa's profile on GreenNote.com and donate toward her tuition, click here. One of Lisa's goals by going to photography school is to graduate with the tools and methods she needs so she can work in places like law enforcement and putting faces to the victims of domestic violence to help them understand just how beautiful they are.  Additionally, Lisa has launched a website called LAS Photography to showcase her stunning porfolio that includes people, nature, artifacts, collectibles and other objects. Lisa understands that her gift to capture the essence of life with the lens is a gift that she wants to use to help others. "Domestic violence is a story that others need to know about. Often people do not believe it is happening until they actually see it. A photo tells a story and this story and those of other victims and survivors needs to be told."
All photography in this blog post
is owned by Lisa Sammons. Do not
duplicate.
All rights reserved. |
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10 Comments
Other Blogs I have written: http://www.couragenetwork.com/members/profile/93/blog
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Ellen Reisman, Eeva-Maija Maula and 2 others like this.
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Joyce Andersen hey girl, one out of 3 women will be sexually assaulted or physically abused by the time they are 30.
July 26 at 6:13pm · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Julie Olomon Simpson What a good article Lisa!! You are an amazing person!
July 26 at 6:18pm · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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L.a. Sammons
Well, those that already know most of this what few there are or were I should say this isn't new news. However I figure it may help others if doing what all survivors should do, "SPEAK OUT". I did in the interview they asked me if I would ...share. Breaking the chain on my end was the first step for me & if it helps someone else then that makes it all the better. System is still really messed up for aiding & helping & some states don't acknowledge there is a problem as much as there is truthfully. Which is sad for those seeking help because you can't do it alone. I had support & help. Not an easy road but time to get my life back on my terms not someone else's. See More
July 26 at 6:24pm · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Susan Shaw Bravo Lisa, your determination and drive are awesome !
July 26 at 7:40pm · UnlikeLike · 2 peopleLoading... ·
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Eeva-Maija Maula Wow Lisa, you have great courage ♥ I am not a victim of physical abuse but my ex was a narcissist, so I have some idea...
July 27 at 12:43am · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Tara Hall WOW Lisa...you are a strong woman, really. Good for you!!
July 27 at 6:53am · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading... ·
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L.a. Sammons
He wasn't the first abusive relationship but surely was the last. Fact that children who grow up in this kind of environment think it's normal. Removing myself & daughter whose never seen it is the first step to breaking the chain so she ac...knowledges it isn't normal nor acceptable. Her karate will help too she'll be able to kick some ass if it does, where I didn't when it happened not to say I didn't fight back. Courage Network did another blog I did for their magazine that so many don't understand either: http://www.couragenetwork.com/magazine/read/domestic-violence--why-she-stays_39.htmlSee More
July 27 at 7:33am · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading... ·
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Paula McManus well done for speaking out Lisa, you're an inspiration and you should be so very proud of yourself! xx
July 29 at 7:07pm · UnlikeLike · 1 person
THANK YOU COURAGE NETWORK ON TWITTER FOR REPOSTING & RETWEETING! Many have & I thank all of you for your efforts as it is what got me my Co-signer!!
please share this story on huff post. under our breakthrough: the power of crisis area. best2u! tony 12:25 AM Jul 31st
Many have retweeted this on Twitter! Thank You for your support!!
Story of one survivor who has the "Strength to Persevere" after domestic violence and with photography: http://tinyurl.com/23vap47 #art 5:49 PM Jul 27th via web Retweeted by you and 4 others
It was also posted via the email message from Tony Robbins here:
YOU Voted: The Most Inspiring 'Breakthrough' Story Of The Week
The Huffington Post First Posted: 07-30-10 12:54 PM | Updated: 07-30-10 05:54 PM
and also posted & shared here:
YOU Voted: The Most Inspiring RELATIONSHIP 'Breakthrough' Story Of The Week
digg facebook Twitter stumble reddit del.ico.us
The Huffington Post | | August 6, 2010
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/05/share-your-breakthrough-s_n_667245.html#s122416
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