Oct
23rd
The Power of Media
By Courage NetworkThe Power of Media
Originally posted at Time's Up
By Lyn Twyman
Media is one of the most powerful tools that
exists. When organizations and the government cannot help,
media continues to be one of the few resources left for citizens
and those victimized. When there's little money for lawyers
and representation, media will always be there to help people
fight back and make their voices heard. We cannot be afraid
to use this powerful tool to raise awareness and
educate.
Media enlightens, helps to unravel mysteries
and documents history as it unfolds. Whether we're looking
at movies, documentaries, PSA's or the internet, media will
always be there to bear public record of our plight, fight and
spread our message far and wide when we're unable to break
barriers otherwise. Activists often use media to get the
attention of agencies and politicians who will not step in to
address an issue until it reaches a tipping
point.
This October, Domestic Violence Awareness
Month is used as the pivotal time of year for many groups to
increase awareness about the issue. But increased awareness
should not come just one time a year. It has to be an
ongoing, collective effort within the entire field. So I
want to challenge all of us to take a new look at the way we
utilize media to spread the message of our causes. If you
haven't developed your own media approach, you may want to
consider it. Media can be vlogs, blogs, websites, movies,
documentaries, interviews, radio and articles. You can
broadcast or distribute your message locally, regionally,
nationally or globally.
Some of you may think you don't or won't have
an audience for your message. According to the CIA World
Factbook, as of July 2009 there was an average of 6.8
billion people living on earth so you are bound to have an
audience for your message. But you don't want to just grab
people's attention, you want to get people to really think about
your issue by presenting them with a genuine message and offer
solutions.
Celebrity Status
Some of you who run organizations may be
thinking 'I need a celebrity to back my cause,' but you really
don't. While most people will gravitate towards
celebrities, one thing to keep in mind is the moment they get
involved in a crime or scandal, support for your cause can
dwindle because the public has identified your cause with the
celebrity instead of identifying your message and solutions you
propose. So this goes back to the point I made previously that
you don't just want to grab society's attention, you want to get
society to make decisions and act. Having a
celebrity involved in any form of media always helps to draw
attention to a cause and it's even more helpful when that famous
person continues using their influence in society on a consistent
basis for your cause. Take for example, there is a long
list of celebrities that support anti-violence but only a handful
consistently goes into the community and do work for domestic
violence.
In addition, celebrities with the wrong
message and execution can be just as damaging to a cause.
Take for example the video "Love the Way You Lie" with Eminem and
Rihanna and the recent domestic violence PSA with David Arquette
and Courteney Cox. According to comments that were
posted throughout the internet, both forms of media sent mixed
messages to viewers, leaving some uncomfortable instead of
drawing them closer to learn more about the issue. Eminem
and Rihanna’s gig may have portrayed “dual” domestic violence but
it was oversexed and over sensationalized. David Arquette
and Courteney Cox used unclean humor that reminded many of sexual
victimization and borderline gay jokes. There's a
difference between taking the public on an emotional roller
coaster for mere publicity and actually delivering a message to
bring transformative and impactful change to society. You
want people to be compelled to openly share your
message.
So don't be over shadowed by Hollywood and
think you have to be someone glitzed and glamoured in order to be
heard. Your cause DOES NOT need a celebrity but your cause
does need YOU. Real social changers that use media to help
further a cause typically are not celebrities. They start
out as everyday people with a mission and a
vision. It's by their good works they are known
and not by the money, the hair, the movie lines or Photo shopped
pics that gets the job done.
Audience and
Messaging
Know your audience and make sure your message
is sincere, genuine and relevant. This may sound like
common sense but what sounds good to you may not sound good to
most of the people in your audience. Try to picture
yourself hearing your own message for the first time and
objectively consider how it would make you react. The
message should be heartfelt and go beyond talking points.
What information do you have for your audience? How can they
relate to the issue? What do you want them to do about the
problem?
Your messaging should also be clear and
consistent. Avoid reinventing your message too often and
execute new media campaigns at appropriate times. You
should be reaching your audience with a defined issue. Your
audience in turn is waiting to see what relevant information you
will give them about the issue. Sometimes the audience
doesn't even know they need to hear your message. People
will also sense confusion in your own work when your messaging is
not consistent and will start to not take you seriously when your
messaging changes too frequently so take time to really study
your message.
Beware of Snakes in the
Grass
Occasionally, you'll run into activists,
organizations and entertainment producers that are nothing more
than snakes in the grass. As much as we'd like to believe
everyone in our field of activism has the right motives there are
those few who truly do not. Their goals are
disingenuous and motives lead to victimization or the
re-victimization of others. Media influence is powerful;
that's why it's a multi-billion dollar industry. So when
you're looking to launch a media campaign, don't use broad
statements, hype words or name drop. Many people make the
mistake of putting out false information which can be verified
and their creditability becomes questioned because of something
they put into their own media. Remember, just because a
person says they are doing something doesn't mean they are really
doing it so do your homework and check their statements, even
other advocates. Make sure that what you say you too are
also doing so you don't become a snake in the grass yourself and
lose your creditability.
I want to challenge all of us in the next year
to increase our own media outreach. Use your Youtube,
Facebook, Twitter, website, blogs and tag your posts. Reach
out to your local newspapers, magazines, radio and t.v.
Don't wait for a celebrity, organization or the government; do it
yourself.
So tap into your list of contacts and see who
can help you to get the word out and spread it. If we keep
speaking up and loud enough with the right message, the voices of
mere individuals talking at once becomes a massive crowd of
activists making a sound that cannot be ignored, becoming
unified. Most of all, survivors and families will get the
help they need and deserve because people will begin to listen
and act.
Courage Network PSA - We Must All Work Together from Courage Network on Vimeo.
">Courage Network PSA - We Must All Work Together from Courage Network on Vimeo.
May
8th
Control.Assault.Delete
By Linda
FIx the Hurt is pleased to announce a new and powerful
play entitled, "Control.Assault.Delete", a dating and domestic
violence primer.
The goal of this two person play is to:
1. Point out common mistakes made by parents and friends in their
frustrated attempts to help the victim escape the abuse;
2. Bring to light common tactics used by abusers to trap victims
into a rigidly controlled relationship, and
3. Point out to abusers the pain and misery they bring to the
lives of others through their actions.
The play is written by John and Linda King and directed by the
very talented, David Barker, the author of "Dodging Bullets", a
professor of theater at Arizona State University, with years of
theatrical experience. David brings an exciting and innovative
approach to the presentation.
The Kings walk you through the frustrations of the parents of a
victim, the ilemma of the victim, as well as the vicious actions
of her abuser in this presentation. The common thread throughout
the saga is the difficulty in helpig the victim escape and making
the abuser accept responsibility for his actions. You will see
and you will hear excerpts from real life tragedies presented by
two very dedicated parents, directed by a very talented
professional.
Because one in about three women are involved in a violent
relationship and one in four teens experience dating violence, we
at Fix the Hurt are committed to helping end domestic and dating
violence. Statistics show that teen dating violence flows over
into domestic violence.
Control.Assault.Delete takes you through the life of the parents
of a young women who fell into a violent dating situation, and
over the next 9 years went from trying to make it out to TRYING
TO GET OUT ALIVE.
John and Linda want to be sure that no parents ever have to
experience the heartbreak of losing a child to violence. You are
invited to be entertained and enlightened during the presentation
and hope all will stay after the show and participate in the open
forum roundtable.
Contact Linda to reserve a date for this show for your area as a
training and/or fundraising event.
Apr
6th
Domestic Violence and Immigration
By Courage Network
Originally published by the National Domestic Violence Hotline Share Your Voice
blog
By Lyn Twyman
Domestic Violence and Immigration
I was 5 years old when I heard one of my parents frequent arguments end with a loud smacking sound. I had just walked in the front door after the school bus had dropped me off in front of my house from a day at kindergarten to the loud yelling and arguing of my parents, unfortunately something I had grown accustomed to. If you can imagine my father was well over 6 feet with a loud bellowing voice, my mother just under 5 feet. With frustration and anger my father struck my mother, leaving a bright red hand mark on the left side of her fair, Asian face. This was the first time I saw the expression of resentment and hate in my mother’s face for everything that led to that point. That act of violence shattered the facade that my parents had built up to try to hide the truth from me, that their marriage was a sham and in no way functional. There were deeply rooted problems within their relationship and after that moment my eyes were wide open to them. Later I would realize there were great amounts of psychological and emotional abuse in my parent’s relationship that would be directed solely towards me.
My father was an American born in the south, a victim of abuse and neglect by an alcoholic father who was void of most emotion, except anger and depression spurred by the bottle. My mother, the eldest of her siblings, grew up in third-world poverty with an extremely controlling mother. In 1977, my mother started receiving pen pal letters from my father. She became enamored with the idea of a man she had never met before, a man who promised to take care of her and give her a better life, more than what she could have ever imagined. About a year later when my mother was 23, she immigrated to the United States.
The man who wrote such beautiful words on paper was not reflective of the man my mother met when she came to the U.S. and in less than a month, the fairy tale was over. The stark realities of the deception, lack of respect and obsession over my mother’s every movement was too much to endure. My mother however, was fearful to leave my father with the domestic violence taking place. My father, a man ridden with personality disorders, would admit years later that his choice to marry my mother was due to the amount of “submissiveness” women like her had for their husbands and the ability to “teach” them and make them become what he wanted.
Unfortunately the story of my parents is not unique. It bares many similarities to the stories of many immigrants who find themselves in relationships where domestic violence is present. One thing that remains consistent however, as with many instances of domestic violence, is there is one person that seeks to have control over the other who is thought to be weaker.
Women and men have shared with me their personal experiences, and those of other immigrants who were involved in domestic violence relationships that they knew. I began hearing similarities in the stories:
• Victims had little interaction with people other than their partner or lived in complete isolation.
• Victims were eventually embarrassed by their partner regarding their own language and culture.
• Communication decreased over time with their families in their homeland.
• Finances were controlled by the abusive partner.
• The partner threatened to have them deported or have their children taken away from them if they showed signs of fighting back or escaping.
So many of these stories also began sounding familiar as I realized my mother had faced the same problems with my own father.
Help for Immigrants
Immigrants who are dealing with domestic violence face many challenges unlike those around them because of language and culture barriers. Whether waiting for citizenship or seeking refugee status, immigrant victims of domestic violence do have rights and can get help to protect themselves from abuse. There are organizations like American Immigration Lawyers Association, The National Immigration Project, The Tahirih Justice Center, WomensLaw.org and specialty organizations like The Asian Pacific American Legal Resource Center, that help with direct services or referrals at little or no cost. It is important that immigrant victims get trained advocates to support and assist them in the proper steps to make themselves and their children safer, whether the abuse is physical or not. Another good online resource is the following link: http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/immigration.shtml that talks more in depth about the issue and addresses aspects of the immigration process. Also the spouses and children of U.S. citizens can self-petition to obtain lawful permanent residency under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). VAWA also allows certain battered immigrants to seek safety and independence from the abuser by filing for immigration relief without the abuser’s assistance or knowledge .
Domestic violence is wrong, period. A person’s nationality does not exclude them from the physical and emotional pain that is inflicted from domestic violence. The best thing we can do as advocates is to remember the warning signs of abuse, stay informed about the issue, spread awareness and encourage our Federal immigration system to strengthen laws and distribute violence and abuse awareness materials, making them available in multiple languages to each person that comes to their offices and websites.
I am encouraged about the amount of work that has been done with this issue compared to my mother’s time as an immigrant but there is still much work to be done in raising awareness about the problem. If you see someone who displays signs of being a victim, offer them in confidence the resources they can go to for help. You will be surprised how far a bit of information and slice of humanity can go to help save a life and lead someone to new found freedom, hope and truly a much better life.
By Lyn Twyman
Domestic Violence and Immigration
I was 5 years old when I heard one of my parents frequent arguments end with a loud smacking sound. I had just walked in the front door after the school bus had dropped me off in front of my house from a day at kindergarten to the loud yelling and arguing of my parents, unfortunately something I had grown accustomed to. If you can imagine my father was well over 6 feet with a loud bellowing voice, my mother just under 5 feet. With frustration and anger my father struck my mother, leaving a bright red hand mark on the left side of her fair, Asian face. This was the first time I saw the expression of resentment and hate in my mother’s face for everything that led to that point. That act of violence shattered the facade that my parents had built up to try to hide the truth from me, that their marriage was a sham and in no way functional. There were deeply rooted problems within their relationship and after that moment my eyes were wide open to them. Later I would realize there were great amounts of psychological and emotional abuse in my parent’s relationship that would be directed solely towards me.
My father was an American born in the south, a victim of abuse and neglect by an alcoholic father who was void of most emotion, except anger and depression spurred by the bottle. My mother, the eldest of her siblings, grew up in third-world poverty with an extremely controlling mother. In 1977, my mother started receiving pen pal letters from my father. She became enamored with the idea of a man she had never met before, a man who promised to take care of her and give her a better life, more than what she could have ever imagined. About a year later when my mother was 23, she immigrated to the United States.
The man who wrote such beautiful words on paper was not reflective of the man my mother met when she came to the U.S. and in less than a month, the fairy tale was over. The stark realities of the deception, lack of respect and obsession over my mother’s every movement was too much to endure. My mother however, was fearful to leave my father with the domestic violence taking place. My father, a man ridden with personality disorders, would admit years later that his choice to marry my mother was due to the amount of “submissiveness” women like her had for their husbands and the ability to “teach” them and make them become what he wanted.
Unfortunately the story of my parents is not unique. It bares many similarities to the stories of many immigrants who find themselves in relationships where domestic violence is present. One thing that remains consistent however, as with many instances of domestic violence, is there is one person that seeks to have control over the other who is thought to be weaker.
Women and men have shared with me their personal experiences, and those of other immigrants who were involved in domestic violence relationships that they knew. I began hearing similarities in the stories:
• Victims had little interaction with people other than their partner or lived in complete isolation.
• Victims were eventually embarrassed by their partner regarding their own language and culture.
• Communication decreased over time with their families in their homeland.
• Finances were controlled by the abusive partner.
• The partner threatened to have them deported or have their children taken away from them if they showed signs of fighting back or escaping.
So many of these stories also began sounding familiar as I realized my mother had faced the same problems with my own father.
Help for Immigrants
Immigrants who are dealing with domestic violence face many challenges unlike those around them because of language and culture barriers. Whether waiting for citizenship or seeking refugee status, immigrant victims of domestic violence do have rights and can get help to protect themselves from abuse. There are organizations like American Immigration Lawyers Association, The National Immigration Project, The Tahirih Justice Center, WomensLaw.org and specialty organizations like The Asian Pacific American Legal Resource Center, that help with direct services or referrals at little or no cost. It is important that immigrant victims get trained advocates to support and assist them in the proper steps to make themselves and their children safer, whether the abuse is physical or not. Another good online resource is the following link: http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/immigration.shtml that talks more in depth about the issue and addresses aspects of the immigration process. Also the spouses and children of U.S. citizens can self-petition to obtain lawful permanent residency under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). VAWA also allows certain battered immigrants to seek safety and independence from the abuser by filing for immigration relief without the abuser’s assistance or knowledge .
Domestic violence is wrong, period. A person’s nationality does not exclude them from the physical and emotional pain that is inflicted from domestic violence. The best thing we can do as advocates is to remember the warning signs of abuse, stay informed about the issue, spread awareness and encourage our Federal immigration system to strengthen laws and distribute violence and abuse awareness materials, making them available in multiple languages to each person that comes to their offices and websites.
I am encouraged about the amount of work that has been done with this issue compared to my mother’s time as an immigrant but there is still much work to be done in raising awareness about the problem. If you see someone who displays signs of being a victim, offer them in confidence the resources they can go to for help. You will be surprised how far a bit of information and slice of humanity can go to help save a life and lead someone to new found freedom, hope and truly a much better life.
Apr
6th
Why Advocacy is So Important - Why You Don't Have to Be A Victim to Help
By Courage Network
By Lyn
Twyman
Out of the many emails I receive, there are some that really stick out in my mind. One in particular came from a lady I'll call Briana who wasn't a victim of domestic violence, but she had been affected by it. Briana wrote that she had sat on a jury for about 6 weeks for a case where a young woman, aged 29, was brutally beaten to death, hog tied and tortured by her so called soul mate. "I looked into the eyes of her killer," wrote Briana, " The trial has been over for one week and one day. I too am a young woman, and that statistics regarding domestic violence are alarming to me. As I watched this trial unfold, I couldn't help but think about all the young women out there, young girls who will be abused. Now, I pass women/girls even while grocery shopping and I count them in my mind (I'm number 1.....then 2...then 3....then 4) and I know statistically, one of us will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in our lives. While all these victims may not die as Jane did.....they all will suffer. Jane was not new to abuse....she had experienced it in other relationships. For some reason she believed she was not worth more. For some reason, she thought abuse meant love."
Briana goes on to write, "I want to do something. I donated my jury pay to our local non profit organization for sexual/domestic violence. I'm attending our local "Take Back the Night" march and marching in memory of Jane. But it's not enough. I need to reach people....and it seems like all the organizations I have found are predominantly for survivors or current victims and none really focus on reaching out to young women to help PREVENT it. And that's where I found your website......and thought that perhaps you could offer me some suggestions......some encouragement.....something I can do to help."
Can you imagine, after reading an email like this, it not only touches you, not only inspires you, it IGNITES you about the work you are doing, about the cause you are fighting. It makes you realize that people other than victims and survivors really do care about this issue of domestic violence. People really do want to see change. The other part of this email that grabbed me was when Briana wrote, "...something I can do to help."
If we are to prevent domestic violence, we have to do something. It's no good to just talk about; it's no good to just write about it. You have to really be making efforts to raise awareness to protect those who could be affected or working to change existing laws and programs in order to better serve victims.
I am pleased to say that since this initial email, Briana is actively working in her community with others in a domestic violence prevention program. Within about a week's time of writing this email, she had gotten involved. Briana not only talked about doing something, she found something she could to do help prevent domestic violence in her local community.
So Briana, Thank You! And thank you to those who have chosen to share the burden in the good fight even if you are not survivors. We need you! Because to be an advocate doesn't mean you have to be a survivor, just someone with a heart to help, change lives and make a true difference.
Out of the many emails I receive, there are some that really stick out in my mind. One in particular came from a lady I'll call Briana who wasn't a victim of domestic violence, but she had been affected by it. Briana wrote that she had sat on a jury for about 6 weeks for a case where a young woman, aged 29, was brutally beaten to death, hog tied and tortured by her so called soul mate. "I looked into the eyes of her killer," wrote Briana, " The trial has been over for one week and one day. I too am a young woman, and that statistics regarding domestic violence are alarming to me. As I watched this trial unfold, I couldn't help but think about all the young women out there, young girls who will be abused. Now, I pass women/girls even while grocery shopping and I count them in my mind (I'm number 1.....then 2...then 3....then 4) and I know statistically, one of us will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in our lives. While all these victims may not die as Jane did.....they all will suffer. Jane was not new to abuse....she had experienced it in other relationships. For some reason she believed she was not worth more. For some reason, she thought abuse meant love."
Briana goes on to write, "I want to do something. I donated my jury pay to our local non profit organization for sexual/domestic violence. I'm attending our local "Take Back the Night" march and marching in memory of Jane. But it's not enough. I need to reach people....and it seems like all the organizations I have found are predominantly for survivors or current victims and none really focus on reaching out to young women to help PREVENT it. And that's where I found your website......and thought that perhaps you could offer me some suggestions......some encouragement.....something I can do to help."
Can you imagine, after reading an email like this, it not only touches you, not only inspires you, it IGNITES you about the work you are doing, about the cause you are fighting. It makes you realize that people other than victims and survivors really do care about this issue of domestic violence. People really do want to see change. The other part of this email that grabbed me was when Briana wrote, "...something I can do to help."
If we are to prevent domestic violence, we have to do something. It's no good to just talk about; it's no good to just write about it. You have to really be making efforts to raise awareness to protect those who could be affected or working to change existing laws and programs in order to better serve victims.
I am pleased to say that since this initial email, Briana is actively working in her community with others in a domestic violence prevention program. Within about a week's time of writing this email, she had gotten involved. Briana not only talked about doing something, she found something she could to do help prevent domestic violence in her local community.
So Briana, Thank You! And thank you to those who have chosen to share the burden in the good fight even if you are not survivors. We need you! Because to be an advocate doesn't mean you have to be a survivor, just someone with a heart to help, change lives and make a true difference.
Viewing 1 - 4 of 4
