Courage Network

This is very simple. I need you to take a moment (don't find it, take it) and then STRETCH.
How was it? Did you feel anything? Do you feel better?

Ok, Now try this:

STRETCH your mind...go way out from your day to day flow.

STRETCH your way of thinking...remove your thoughts and apply your dream(s).

STRETCH your eyelids over your eyes...begin to see your dream(s) in a reality state of being.

STRETCH your mouth...and let positive words flow from it.

STRETCH your words and let life, not death flow from it.

STRETCH your perception of time...understand that your delay is not a denial. Go forward and make that dream a reality.

Now I ask you how do you feel?

Stop sitting around waiting on someone else to make you feel better. Get up and get moving. Put your faith at work. And once you get to moving, don't look back. I love you so much but more importantly God does.

Be encouraged. Be inspired. Be who He created you to be.

Love,
Bella Grace

Hi,

What started it was the picture I drew of myself. I decided to draw a self portrait, after I literally stared at my reflection for almost thirty minutes.

I pulled the mirror off the wall and put it down on the ground and without really examining myself I just started to draw. It’s when I finished that I was startled enough to stop, put the paper to the side, and stare.

I hardly recognized myself.

Last fall I checked out one of the cameras from school to try taking pictures. The one thing I noticed back then was looking through a lens is really different from just looking. The lens is so small that it forces the one eye to choose what it sees. Then, with precision, the hand needs to focus the lens so that the camera actually snaps what you want it to. This is what it was like for me today looking in the mirror. While I was drawing I was just part of the reflection but once I put my pencil down and looked at the drawing, then the captured image all came into focus.

The girl I drew…I don’t know her. She is worn like leather, joyless, spent, ancient. I forced myself to look at the mirror. The thing of it is…it’s not as if I am frowning and angry. What is scary is I look vacant, gone, dead.

And that’s when it crept into me…he really can’t kill me…well, he could, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is, he actually already has, because he’s killed my spirit. This is what it means to be alone, really alone…because there is not a living soul who I can tell.

I hardly tell myself. He must feel me slipping because he has asked me a million and one times if I really understand he won’t live without me. Now that I know I am dead, how can I care about his life? After all, he is the creator of what I see staring vacantly back at me.

I had to stop. I found a small blanket in the hall closet and covered the mirror. Then I had to leave my room. I was trembling. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a snack, then I mechanically went into the living room and sat down by the huge window that looks down the Mianus River. I drank in the view…all the deciduous trees are bare naked. And that’s when it hit me with full force. All those beautiful trees, they shed everything that makes them gorgeous and they endure the long harsh New England winter and then just when people almost give up hope, they sprout their tiny little buds. A month or so later they have leaves; some have flowers too.

I am 19 and I am the tree. I am almost unrecognizable, yet underneath the twigs and sticks and bark there is a strength. I can feel this strength. I don’t want to be dead among the living. That tree would no sooner refuse to sprout then fall over if I pushed it. Maybe….at the core….maybe I am still here.

So I got up and went back to my room, pulled away the blanket, and sat back down and again gazed into the mirror. My eyes are green…somewhere in the pool of black squarely centered in all that green is a path back to me. If I stare at it long enough maybe just maybe I can see deep inside and find my core, my strength, my light, my spirit. It’s winter but sure as day will turn to night, spring will come.

“I am alive….I am alive…I am me and I am alive.”


Thank you for reading an excerpt from: Tornado Warning, A Memoir Of Teen Dating Violence and Its Effect On A Woman's Life
by Elin Stebbins Waldal. To Learn more about Tornado Warning please visit my website at Elin Stebbins Waldal
You may also join the Tornado Warning Facebook Page too!

“The Lives of Abused and Battered Women”

This book was written to tell the story of abuse the only way that it could be, by someone who knew what it was truly about. No one can tell it better than someone who had walked a mile or two in the shoes of abuse. For twenty-five years I lived the live of being abused. The cold harsh words, betrayal, and physical abuse were all I ever had to look forward to. Being told that no one would want you for, but only one thing made me stay in the relationships. I felt that if I left the relationship, no one would want me because no one seemed to be interested in me anyway. In and out of every relationship it was always the same thing, taking what my mates dished out in order to have a man in my life, and I thought that they loved me. I always prayed that my mates would change, and begin to treat me the way that I deserved to be treated. Being picked at and taunted by people who knew what was going on in their cold, harsh, and sneaky ways. The thought of being told that, ‘if you couldn’t hang with the big dog that you should stay on the porch’, which only meant that I either accept what they were dishing out, or that I could go somewhere else. I knew that it wasn’t right to be treated that way, but I had low-self esteem. I lived that live style all those years, then it hit me, I finally realized that I was better than that. It hit me one day that God allowed me to go through my trials, to strengthen me so that I wouldn’t allow anyone to treat me that way ever again. Then I was told by a minister at church that it was Gods’ will for me to tell my story to be a blessing to other women (men). I wanted to be an inspiration to the young children that may be tempted to get into this kind of relationship not knowing what they were in for. I wrote this book to tell of my abusive lifestyle as well as that of other women. I wanted them to know that the only way that the situation would change was if they stopped accepting it. It tells of how women do things to other women, taking their men, and feeling that they had done something big. If only we had walked away at the first sign of abuse, things would have been better. It’s time for us to stand up for our rights. It’s a subject that is not on only in the low-class minority of women; it’s in the in the middle class, and high minority of women also. Hiding abuse under the rug only makes a lump, then a mold hill, and then it turns into a mountain that can’t be climbed. I wanted to be a blessing to anyone that had not been abused, and to the ones that were still living it. My heart and prayers are with them.

Barbara Hart

Every morning when I awake I tell my Daddy (God) good morning and talk to Him. I tell Him what I am thankful for along with whatever is on my mind. He then in return talks back to me by leading me to a scripture and/or text in His word that is just what I need to hear and allow me to smile and start my day on a positive path.

Today I heard this:
"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice--not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing." (Jeremiah 10:23-24 NIV)

What He said to me was this:
You do not own your own life. However, you are SOMEBODY to me...precious in my sight. The more you push to walk in my ways and follow my word, you will have what is yours on this earth as well as in heaven. Don't let any person or situation make you feel less than who you are for they are not me. I told you who you are. You are an OVERCOMER, a CONQUEROR, a CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH, a BELIEVER. Continue to TRUST in my word. Have FAITH in my word, and I will give you ALL that I have promised to you, your children, and those connected to you. Remind yourself that it is when you choose to not follow my (His) word, that is when you are reduced to nothing. Remind yourself everyday that you are SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING and say good morning to another SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING the way you did to me and I with you. For the same way you put a smile on my face and I upon your face, you will be able to put a smile upon their face which is worth far more than anything paid for with money.

I needed to hear and read that word this morning. I needed to share that word this morning as well (at 7:50am.) Usually I am laying down resting or sleep due to the pain in my spine and my leg. However, this morning He gave me enough strength to rise and share this message with you. Even if I am not able to blog another thing today, or do anything else this made me happy and kept my mind off of the pain and my current circumstances.

I know that for a lot of us it looks as if we have hit the bottom of the bottom of the dirt. But don't you know that is where seeds are planted. The land is cultivated (prepped) and awaits the arrival of that "small" seed to be deposited. Then the seed arrives and is dropped off in this new land. Dark and gloomy with new inhabitants/neighbors (worms, slugs, and other seeds.) Then comes the ONE. The one that will take the time out to make sure you receive enough sun (light), water (nourishment), and care (not neglect.) Before you know it you begin to grow (soaring to new heights.) Then comes the breaking point (time to emerge from the soil to the skies. You look at yourself and all you see is this tall, skinny stalk. You say to yourself, "how can I get through this thing looking the way I look." You feel like "everytime I get to soar through with no issues, I am met with a hard challenge that I can't get through (no money, no house, no job, no support, consistent no's for everything you ask people for, overdue/unpaid bills, etc.)" But then a ray of hope beams down a small tiny crevice in the ground. You catch glimpse of it and begin to go where the light is coming from. Focused and determined on that light, you have no time to hear, see, or feel any distraction or hinderance coming your way. And before you know it, you have broken through that solid ground and have reached that thing you have been working so hard to get through. And now that "small" seed has become a "BIG" flower standing tall, strong, and beautiful. 

It's a breath of fresh air, even for me to type those words. Knowing that you have endured past the hardship and that you have made it. Knowing that you might not look like too much now, but soon all will see that you weren't a small seed all along, but a big flower in disguise. Remember, "looks can be deceiving." 

Beginning today, do not let your past situation, current situation, or future fears, keep you from emmencing from the soil to the earth. Be still and watch for the light. Even if you might be saying "I do this already," let this encourage you that you are on the right track, and be a blessing by passing this message on.

Your breakthrough is a beam of light a way.

Have a great morning SOMEONE, SOMEBODY, SOMETHING.

Be a blessing, because you are already blessed.
Princess Grace

I am an advocate for using the arts as therapy for healing.  Many of us have seen time and time again how music, dancing, sculpting and painting can sooth the mind and release tension. Art is healthy and I believe it is absolutely necessary for our lives if we are to ever heal from trauma and abuse. I happen to enjoy writing and painting abstracts in watercolors and chalk.

Art is also important because it can reach across many divides: language, gender, race, nationality, religion, age. The unspoken words of art speaks to everyone. It is able to travel when you and I cannot to spread a message. Even long after a person has lost their sight and perhaps their hearing, the impression that a piece of art can leave on an individual can last a lifetime.  So don't be afraid to use art as a way to impact others with a message.

As we travel this journey to create masterful art with our own lives, let's keep in mind the impression it will leave on others, to create a portrait that bears deep meaning and truth in everything we do. 

Be Encouraged, be Inspired and be Courageous as we work together to support this effort of ending domestic violence!