Apr
19th
This May Catch You Off Guard . . .What It Means to Work Together
By Courage Network
by Lyn Twyman
It was almost 20 years ago when I watched my mother sob in a court room over the battle to gain custody of me, a battle that she lost. She was angry, upset, frightened and ill-equipped to fight the fight that had laid before her for many months. I was confused, scared and only wanted the security and love of my parents. It's images like this that move me to advocate for awareness and prevention of domestic violence and abuse, the abuse that had broken my family a part. So I get it when someone pleads and cries for someone to listen to them because they have lost children to the system or through the manipulation of a spouse, ex-spouse, partner or family member who is abusive.
A few months and years changes a lot of things for many people and that's why we have to take this issue seriously about educating our young people on domestic violence, what it means to have healthy relationships. Youth is being wasted, time is being lost and so are lives. It's not just a vain topic, it's a real issue. I think we can all agree that we don't want our children to fall into similar traps that many of us have fallen into nor would we want future generations to be hurt and destroyed.
How can we help facilitate this kind of change for our young people's futures, in our judicial system and other areas? One way is to come together to encourage and support the schools and places of worship to talk more about healthy relationships. Another way is for the criminal and judicial systems to realize why it's important to have trained officers and judges that really understand the dynamics of abuse and create ways to support victims, families and rehabilitate the offenders, implementing effective ways to take on this issue.
This may catch you off guard but we don't just need more tax exempt organizations with a name and a cause. We need people that will really take action. We also need people that will serve and support existing organizations and individuals that will collaborate to support local communities to improve methods of reaching young people, for example. We need to take the resources that have been created by organizations across the U.S. and around our world that are currently working and gather together to help and support each other with the issue of domestic violence and issues stemming from it such as bullying, teen dating violence, child custody battles and criminal victimization. We need to support the shelters that are housing victims and donate to them. We need to contact local and national organizations for resources such as training materials that we can use in fostering educational programs in our own communities.
All of the resources lie right under our noses but we have to seek and find them if we are going to be effective. National organizations in turn need to continue to support us on the ground to help facilitate change by making sure we have enough resources to continue our work and to stay on top of the issues, informing us so we can take action, making sure that services continue to operate to help victims and increase prevention. For local, national and international organizations that are working on legislation and public policy, we need to lend our voice and write, gather and demonstrate.
If an organization can only talk about making a difference and isn't doing it NOW by helping victims and survivors, don't support them because they're wasting your money and trying to pull resources and funding from other organizations that truly need it. Too many good organizations are struggling as 5 men and some 1 man operations to try to keep things going. Real servants and social changers actively serve others and don't just talk about it while spending your hard earned money on things that are not helping victims nor reaching the community tangibly.
If you are giving to any organization, make sure they are ACTIVELY working in one of these four areas, and again, not just talking about it: direct services, legislation, research or creating educational and training opportunities and materials for advocates and the community. If you don't see the organization you are giving your hard earned money to doing any of these things now, you may want to give somewhere else.
We can't get stuck on "big" appearances when everything takes place right in our own back yards, so let's bring this back home. Remember, the people that may be doing the most for your local community may not appear like "much" because they are busy spending the money that you donate to them to really help victims. So offer to be their media campaign for them and support them. Word of mouth is inexpensive and the most effective.
As an organization, remember your duty is to be ethically accountable, seeing where you can improve and make changes for the better, not spending frivolously. People are counting on you to make the right decisions with the money and resources you have to help save those in our communities that we may never meet but ultimately affect us all. On any day "those people" could become anyone of us.
Lastly, encourage your place of worship, if you believe in a higher Power, to support these shelters and programs that are doing the hard work day in and day out to help victims. Your place of worship has so much potential to impact the community because of their existing bond and support structure already in place.
Real prevention is the key and it's not just talk, it's action. Prevention goes a step further past signing petitions too. Petitions are just the first step but not the completed process. As the saying goes, don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. As an organization or individual, you may not have a huge budget but together we can make a difference with this issue of domestic violence by working together and not by reinventing the wheel.
It was almost 20 years ago when I watched my mother sob in a court room over the battle to gain custody of me, a battle that she lost. She was angry, upset, frightened and ill-equipped to fight the fight that had laid before her for many months. I was confused, scared and only wanted the security and love of my parents. It's images like this that move me to advocate for awareness and prevention of domestic violence and abuse, the abuse that had broken my family a part. So I get it when someone pleads and cries for someone to listen to them because they have lost children to the system or through the manipulation of a spouse, ex-spouse, partner or family member who is abusive.
A few months and years changes a lot of things for many people and that's why we have to take this issue seriously about educating our young people on domestic violence, what it means to have healthy relationships. Youth is being wasted, time is being lost and so are lives. It's not just a vain topic, it's a real issue. I think we can all agree that we don't want our children to fall into similar traps that many of us have fallen into nor would we want future generations to be hurt and destroyed.
How can we help facilitate this kind of change for our young people's futures, in our judicial system and other areas? One way is to come together to encourage and support the schools and places of worship to talk more about healthy relationships. Another way is for the criminal and judicial systems to realize why it's important to have trained officers and judges that really understand the dynamics of abuse and create ways to support victims, families and rehabilitate the offenders, implementing effective ways to take on this issue.
This may catch you off guard but we don't just need more tax exempt organizations with a name and a cause. We need people that will really take action. We also need people that will serve and support existing organizations and individuals that will collaborate to support local communities to improve methods of reaching young people, for example. We need to take the resources that have been created by organizations across the U.S. and around our world that are currently working and gather together to help and support each other with the issue of domestic violence and issues stemming from it such as bullying, teen dating violence, child custody battles and criminal victimization. We need to support the shelters that are housing victims and donate to them. We need to contact local and national organizations for resources such as training materials that we can use in fostering educational programs in our own communities.
All of the resources lie right under our noses but we have to seek and find them if we are going to be effective. National organizations in turn need to continue to support us on the ground to help facilitate change by making sure we have enough resources to continue our work and to stay on top of the issues, informing us so we can take action, making sure that services continue to operate to help victims and increase prevention. For local, national and international organizations that are working on legislation and public policy, we need to lend our voice and write, gather and demonstrate.
If an organization can only talk about making a difference and isn't doing it NOW by helping victims and survivors, don't support them because they're wasting your money and trying to pull resources and funding from other organizations that truly need it. Too many good organizations are struggling as 5 men and some 1 man operations to try to keep things going. Real servants and social changers actively serve others and don't just talk about it while spending your hard earned money on things that are not helping victims nor reaching the community tangibly.
If you are giving to any organization, make sure they are ACTIVELY working in one of these four areas, and again, not just talking about it: direct services, legislation, research or creating educational and training opportunities and materials for advocates and the community. If you don't see the organization you are giving your hard earned money to doing any of these things now, you may want to give somewhere else.
We can't get stuck on "big" appearances when everything takes place right in our own back yards, so let's bring this back home. Remember, the people that may be doing the most for your local community may not appear like "much" because they are busy spending the money that you donate to them to really help victims. So offer to be their media campaign for them and support them. Word of mouth is inexpensive and the most effective.
As an organization, remember your duty is to be ethically accountable, seeing where you can improve and make changes for the better, not spending frivolously. People are counting on you to make the right decisions with the money and resources you have to help save those in our communities that we may never meet but ultimately affect us all. On any day "those people" could become anyone of us.
Lastly, encourage your place of worship, if you believe in a higher Power, to support these shelters and programs that are doing the hard work day in and day out to help victims. Your place of worship has so much potential to impact the community because of their existing bond and support structure already in place.
Real prevention is the key and it's not just talk, it's action. Prevention goes a step further past signing petitions too. Petitions are just the first step but not the completed process. As the saying goes, don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. As an organization or individual, you may not have a huge budget but together we can make a difference with this issue of domestic violence by working together and not by reinventing the wheel.
Viewing 1 - 1 of 1
