2 Comments

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  by L.A. 1 year ago

  One thing I would have to input, the last thing I would do is use an old address & never would use one where I lived with the abuser. To easy then for things like notices, or other documents, letters then sent to an address which could give the abuser the option to call and inquire about- now with account information & could have someone do for them to pretend they are you.
  
  My escape was Postal Box and if you have to, have one postal box send mail to another postal box. Either way it's a paper trail too which is difficult. Some States offer Address Confidentiality Programs. Don't just depend on the courts to keep your address confidential, nor child support offices someone slips eventually. Happened to me. Some address confidential programs are wonderful other I've experienced not so much. So I agree always a back up plan. Lucky to have a friend that accepts important bank, court, bills etc to their address then it's forwarded to my address confidential program mail box which is then sent to me at my safe house address. Packages or larger envelopes are a bit harder & I have an additional Postal box just for those things. Not always easy for those to let you use their address, I was lucky.
  
  Agree that after several years now of having to move because of being found eventually, (sometimes took months, or almost - over a year) for the first time my daughter & I have been safe for almost 3yrs because of the wonderful AC Program. At times, I feel I am to comfortable to not have to worry anymore & how I wish I didn't have to. So, correct in the comments here, we are not dealing with a normal person. We always have to keep guard up while trying to live our lives. Do we risk letting that guard down thinking it's over? Is it over? Really? Ask someone who has no voice to speak anymore or the families that are mourning the loss of a loved one. It's is more then just physical survival, it is a chess game of mental, strategy of survival wits. In the jungle if attacked by a animal, escape & survive, you become smarter & watchful eye, not to be put in that situation again. Do you think that animal will forget you? Your the one that got away & possibly remembers, your scent, or taste when attacking? Even after time has passed, if seeing you or scent from a distance he would definitely attack again, this time just being nicer about the approach to catch you off guard so that this time you won't get away. Stay Smart. Stay Safe.
  
  Nice coverage her in interview & information, stay one step ahead and further is even better. Thank you for sharing this Interview and the information.
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  by Courage Network 1 year ago

  You're welcome. One of the very last resorts would be to use an old address but definitely not an address where the abuser currently resides just for clarity on part of the interview. If you and the abuser were once there together and there is no forwarding of mail that's one thing but not while the person is still there. If you absolutely have to have an address make sure it is not for where the abuser or other close family or friends that are directly involved with the situation.
  
  It should not even get to that point for someone to have to refer to old addresses who is trying to escape abuse and Address Confidentiality programs should work but I have heard cases too where they have failed and the affected party had to uproot quickly and start over again.
  
  Thank you for being willing to share your experience and great tips! It's information like this that will help others make it through to becoming survivors!